Tom Bro Cow
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
Does Tom Cruise look like this?
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hicxs
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
Frank is fed up with toms puns. Tom was never seen again

β€œI have split personality” said Tom being Frank.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04
🚨︎ report
Tom absolutely loves tractors

A little boy named Tom was approaching his 3rd birthday, and absolutely adored the show "Tractor Tom", partially because of his name being spoken, and partially because he loved tractors.

As the day drew nearer, his parents decided to buy him a toy tractor as a gift. The rest of his toys were gone with the wind at this point, as Tom spent all his waking hours playing with this one tractor toy.

Fast forward a few years, and Tom's now approaching his 10th birthday, with his love for tractors intact and intensified. His parents discuss what to get for him, and decide that a ride-on tractor to replace his bike is the best gift they can give him.

Tom absolutely loves the gift, and spends all of his time out of school riding around the neighbourhood while his bike collects dust in the garage.

We come forward a few more years, as Tom approaches his 18th birthday, with an only intensified adoration of tractors. His father pulls him aside on the morning of his birthday, saying "Now son, I

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asurarkt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
I keep having dreams about Tom Jones

"is that common?"

It's not unusual

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about Tom, the guy who lost two of his toes in an accident with red acidic fruit?

They call him Tom eight toes

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDoge55545
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
My couain asked for clothes, I said lets go to Tom

Hilfiger it out.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ftejadal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

The pickpocket snatches your watch. The peeping tom does the opposite.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Do you know how common the "Tom Jones Syndrome" is?

It's not unusual.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Why wouldn’t Ms. Potato Head marry Tom Brokaw?

He was just a common-tater.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullhead20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
My cousin asked for clothes, i replied "Let's go to Tom....

...Hilfiger it out"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ftejadal
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
[OC] Credit for the joke goes to my friend, Tom Jackson.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToughBeingAPig
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is O scared of Tom?

Because tomatoes

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SherlockHomeles
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Tom Cruise is minute.

That's what I named my pet Amphibian.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

The dirtiest clean joke I know...

What's the difference between a pick pocket and a peeping tom?

A pick pocket snatches watches.

Credit to Redd Foxx

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit4nag
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctor, Doctor. I can’t stop sex bomb by Tom Jones.

Doctor: Sounds like you might have Tom Jones syndrome.

Me: Is it common?

Doctor: It’s not unusual.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Freddy_1986
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Keira Knightley and Tom Daley got divorced.

Their schedules were too different.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ErwtEnBernie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a recurring nightmare that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting, and Tom Ripley, but now I’m ok.

I finally battled my Damons.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I met Tom Hanks today!

I asked for his autograph, but all he wrote was β€˜thanks’...

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can Tom Cruise never lose?

Because Submission impossible

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/memes_live
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If Tom Cruise and Terry Crews sold tickets for a meet and greet on a Ship headed for Mexico, they'd advertise the Cruise-Crews Cruise to Veracruz.
πŸ‘︎ 334
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Tamassran_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
🚨︎ report
So a girl came up tom he other day and said that she recognized me from her vegetarian restaurant. Honestly I was a bit confused.

I’d never met herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AquariusV1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If Tom is short for Thomas

Is mom short for mhomas?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WaruiIan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my therapist that I have a recurring dream where I’m fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting, and Tom Ripley.

She said, β€œFinally! You are battling your Damons.”

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Tom, the cannibal tomato’s wife missing?

Because Tomater

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bursem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
How does Tom Hanks express his gratitude?

T.Hanks

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealisticFake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
If Tom Cruise owned a liquor company

Would it be a Whiskey Business?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckwheat202
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What does Tom Petty say when he doesn’t have any clean underwear?

β€œNow I’m freeeeeeeeee, free ballin”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCOUNTCUPCAKE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I was so happy when my toddler reached out and tried to touch Tom Cruise.

He's already reaching for the stars.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What is made out of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyNuggets
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Is it strange that I still listen to Tom Jones?

Well, It's Not Unusual.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clarknova77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Tom grew sick of being a tool.

He had Benadryl.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BatManSaidSo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Tom Netherlands
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maybethanos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw Tom Hanks earlier today and asked him for an autograph

He just wrote thanks

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sirjackhepp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I thought I saw Tom Hanks in the woods yesterday.

Turns out it was just a Forest Stump.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
God said to Tom "Come fourth and receive eternal life."

Instead Tom came fifth and received a toaster

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/twizzlerwhipped
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What does Tom Petty think is the most difficult aspect of working in a restaurant?

The waaaaaiting is the hardest part

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yourmomophobe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Two rivaling rappers, named Jim and Tom planned to meet up for a rap battle. Jim totally destroyed his rival.

Tom's fans didn't expect this kind of diss appointment.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new tomato soup and crackers movie starring Tom Cruise?

It’s called Bisquey Ritzness

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Tom Scott Joke: What do you call a timer set for when the title track of Europe's 1985 album will be played for the last time?

Its the final Final Countdown countdown.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Icecreep109
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does Tom demand his egg cooked with a perfectly circular yolk?

Because he's eggcentric

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Disrupturous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
🚨︎ report
People ask why peeping toms usually commit their crimes between 8 and 10...

That’s the peak time

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iam4real
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Tom only chases the most suitable mouse.

I guess that is Jerry picking.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
It was silly of Tom Cruise to put his best pistol on the highest shelf

He’s too short to reach the top gun

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyTheShip
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I hear Tom Brady is very deflated after his loss.
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CollapsibleEra
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend Tom and I were walking through an herb garden. I noticed that the bottoms of my shoes were getting scuffed. He said...

These are the thymes that try men's soles.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Princess potato was disowned by the king and queen for marrying Tom Brokaw.

They couldn’t stand that she’d married a commentator

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why would Tom Hiddleston wear a hoodie and sunglasses?

He's trying to be Loki

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_am_Direwolf
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cariad_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Tom Cruise
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HoneyDune
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Tom Brady may be the best QB in NFL history...

But that subject is very deflatable.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Shiva92
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Tom's dad didn't let him sleep last night

He had to prevent the kid napping

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thericheat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Have you seen the new Tom Cruise movie where he plays an Italian chef?

Mission ImPASTAble

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nick-lachey-lol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
🚨︎ report
Tom Hanks walked into a wind tunnel.

The wind tunnel says to him "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Hanks, I'm a huge fan."

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fhoxyd22
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Tom Swiftie: β€œWho rounded off the top of this doorway?” Tom said archly.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eroe777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I work with my dad, and we fight over the MP3 player sometimes.. Today I made him listen to Tom Petty all day. He comes up with this zinger..

Dad: What did Tom Petty say at the Pearly Gates?

Me: Oh no, dad, please don't. Too soon..

Dad: He said, "Oh I.. want back down, oh I.. want back down."

Me: *facepalm*

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lockexxv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
🚨︎ report
"Oh Tom, say my name!"

SMBC dad joke: http://smbc-comics.com/comic/say-my-name-2

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Syllogism19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2017
🚨︎ report
There's Negative Nancy... Debbie Downer... Chatty Cathy... but where did Peeping Tom come from?

In the bushes, outside the window.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybaby
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
🚨︎ report
My buddy: "Just picked up a Tom Jones vinyl for $4! Hell yeah." Me: "That's not unusual."
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/amoore109
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2016
🚨︎ report
My Daughters Have Tom Clancy Themed Rap Names

I have two daughters, Claire (5) and Maren (1.5). When they were born, one of my first duties as dad was to give them rap names. After much brainstorming and deliberation I chose Claire and Present Danger and then to keep with theme, Mare Force One.

Could I have done better?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Fifty "Tom Swifties" slatestarcodex.com/2015/1…
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aegeus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2015
🚨︎ report
Peeping Tom (X-post from r/cats)
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smarmanda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you know Tom Brady can go longer than anyone without pooping?

He's a five-time Super Bowel champion.

Edit: Five-time.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hew3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Remember Tom Swifties? imgur.com/gallery/GZA9jsU
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jarjar420
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear? Tom Hiddleston is dating Taylor Swift

Don't tell anyone else though, they're trying to keep it Loki

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xanothis23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
🚨︎ report
I learned today that Tom Brady first got to play in an NFL game because the previous quarterback suffered an injury causing internal bleeding

I suppose you could say he got to play because Drew bled so.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad loves Tom Clancy books and I told him that he passed away...

He replied, "I hear the Russians are behind it."

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ham_commander
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
🚨︎ report
What is it called when someone kidnaps Tom Petty

Petty theft

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Badtaste92
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2012
🚨︎ report
Dad joke found in the Tom Hanks AMA
πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicTuxedo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
🚨︎ report
So my dad met Tom Selleck and sends me this dad joke
πŸ‘︎ 239
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sonofodin12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2013
🚨︎ report
If Tom Waits ever records a cover of "For No One" by Paul McCartney / The Beatles...

...some people might mistake it for a cover of a Rolling Stones song.

I wanted to post this in /r/Showerthoughts but they have a rule against puns. :(

The Rolling Stones song I'm referring to is this one.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emanresol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2014
🚨︎ report
"Measure twice, cut once," tom remarked
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/portlandfoo13
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Saw this flavor at my local Tom Thumb, thought y'all would enjoy.

http://i.imgur.com/CAtDJYm.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/L0Brau
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2015
🚨︎ report
"Serenity Now!" Tom screamed, malcontentedly waiting for his favorite show to start.

Feel free to join us over at /r/TomSwifties if this sort of masochism works for you!

Meanwhile... .
"Quick! Hide all the religious pamphlets!" said Tom distractingly.
.
"I think I'm becoming a homosexual necrophiliac," said Tom, in dead earnest.
.
"Now I can do some painting," said Tom easily.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchGoodwin
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2012
🚨︎ report
Tom's Swifties... Wicked.

"There are no two's in this deck." Tom de-deuced. "You're burning the candle from both ends." Tom said wickedly. "I dropped my toothpaste." Tom said Crestfallen.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goboatmen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2012
🚨︎ report
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
β€œI have a split personality,” said Tom, being Frank.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deanosuprema
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
🚨︎ report
What is made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?

Trombones.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FYF69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.