A list of puns related to "Three Doors To Death"
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3.14 percent of sailors are pi-rates.
5/4 of people admit theyâre bad at fractions.
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.
A brain walks into a bar and takes a seat. âIâd like some wings and a pint of beer, please,â it says. âSorry, but I canât serve you,â the bartender replies. âYouâre out of your head.â
A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'
A college education now costs $100,000, but it produces three very proud people: the student, his mama, and his pauper.
A couple of cups of yogurt walk into a country club. âWe donât serve your kind here,â the bartender says. âWhy not?â one yogurt asks. âWeâre cultured.â
A friend of mine didnât pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.
A friend of mine is known for sweeping girls off their feet. Heâs an extremely aggressive janitor.
A guy walks into a bar, and thereâs a horse serving drinks. The horse asks, âWhat are you staring at? Havenât you ever seen a horse tending bar before?â The guy says, âItâs not that. I just never thought the parrot would sell the place.â
A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, âWhatâs with the paper towel?â The pirate says, âArrr! Iâve got a Bounty on me head!â
A turtle is crossing the road when heâs mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, âI donât know. It all happened so fast.â
Armed robbersâsome say theyâre a drain on society, but youâve got to give it to them.
BarbersâŚyou have to take your hat off to them.
Can February March? No, but April May!
Cooking out this weekend? Donât forget the pickle. Itâs kind of a big dill.
Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don't think they'll fit me.
Dad, can you put the cat out? I didn't know it was on fire.
Dad, did you get a haircut? No, I got them all cut!
Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.
Daughter: I have a lot of friends named Nathan. Thereâs Nathan Miller, Nathan Radcliff, Nathan Lewis⌠Me: When they are together, do you call them the United Nathans?
Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.
Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!
Did you hear about the aquatic sea mammals that escape
... keep reading on reddit âĄThe friar puts a sign outside that said âbell ringer wanted, tryouts Saturday morningâ
Saturday morning rolls around, and there were three people lined up out front of the church waiting to try to ring the bell. A tall, muscular man, a skinnier, frail man, and an average sized man.
The friar took them all up one at a time and handed them the hammer to hit the church bells with.
The muscular man grabbed the hammer in one hand, slammed it into the bell, and nearly shattered both with the force behind the swing. The friar said that theyâll have to keep looking.
The frail man could barley pick up the hammer. He swung it pitifully, and managed to ting the bell. The friar just shook his head and chuckled, thanking the man for coming.
The average sized man refused the hammer. Before the friar could question it, the man reared his head back and slammed it into the bell, producing a ring of such pure tone and quality it brought a tear to the friarâs eye. While he was wiping the tear from his face, the man, stumbling from the impact of skull to bell, accidentally tripped and fell off the bell tower to his death.
Well, the townsfolk had heard the beautiful bell, and a small crowd had gathered beneath the bell tower around the manâs body.
Collectively, they said âWho is he Friar? What happened?â
The friar shook his head sadly and said
âI donât know, but his face rings a bellâ
BUT IT ISNâT OVER CAUSE THEY STILL NEED A BELL RINGEE ROUND TWO KIDDOS HERE WE GO!!
So the next morning, when the friar opened the doors in the morning, a man approached him and said âFriar, you donât know me, but the man who died yesterday was my brother. Iâd be honored if youâd let me ring the bell today in his honor.â
The friar nodded and let the new man up the bell tower, handing him the hammer.
With a nightly swing, the man slammed the bell, producing again a high quality ringing tone. Unfortunately, he slipped while off balance and fell off the bell tower too and died.
Again, people were gathered around and they all asked as one âWho is he, Friar, what happened?â
The friar looked at them all in turn and said âI donât know, but heâs a dead ringer for his brotherâ
Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorâs love for tractors.
Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.
Trevorsâs degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.
The hedges in Trevorâs front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.
Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.
Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnât keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.
One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.
Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.
âWellâ said Jeff, âAs Iâm sure you know the convention comes to town laterâ.
The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.
âYes of courseâ replied Trevor
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