My girlfriend was infatuated with roofing equipment so I gave her an ultimatum: it's either me or the equipment.

She chose the ladder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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Had girlfriend actually audibly groan at this one..

We were watching the latest episode of The Ultimatum and at one point this horse makes some noise during one of the couples’ discussions and I said β€œlooks like they have some neighsayers..”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valioes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2022
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Man who loved tractors

Heard this one years ago. Not OC

There's a man who loves tractors. Has tractor bed sheets tractor wallpaper. He loves them.

One day his wife says his obsession is getting in the way of their relationship so he is given an ultimatum. Either the tractor stuff goes or she does.

He takes a long walk to think it over and eventually decides to get rid of the tractor stuff.

A few years later he is walking down the road when he sees a building on fire and people still inside screaming from the windows. He runs up to the letterbox. Puts his mouth over the letterbox and sucks out all the bad fumes.

After the people were saved the fireman asks him how he saved all the people inside.

The man replies: I'm an ex tractor fan

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2021
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I went into the kitchen this morning and there was a "Get better soon" card on the table for me. I called out to my wife asking what it was for because I wasn't sick.

She shouted back from the other room "It's an ultimatum."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
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