There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual

It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War

For the Confederacy, it all went South from there

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πŸ‘€︎ u/speedoc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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After turning on my computer in the morning, the first thing I tell myself is β€œI got this!”

I should stop using WebMD as my homepage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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What did the audiologist say after turning up the sound all the way.

Hertz don’t it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FastestFetus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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My girlfriend told me that she was worried she was turning into a costal area at the southwestern tip of the Gower Peninsula in south Wales. I said to her...

Don't be Rhossili Bae

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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I told the doctor I was worried I was turning into an Italian island...

He said β€œdon’t be Sicily!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pidderz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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I started a business fixing vehicles to have the wheel only turning one direction.

Business is going alright

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlotte_8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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I’m turning 50 soon and will tell people I’ve become part Roman for the rest of my life...

You know, because I’ll be a half century on...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Titeman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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I scolded my son because he keeps turning down the thermostat.

I put it back at 70 and said "I've had it up to here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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My wife keeps turning off the air conditioning

Not cool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frosty_Dave
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
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Did you hear about the man that is turning into an animal?

He took off his sox and had bare feet!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsKilLikeMine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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Only wrench-turning, The Who fans will get this pun. It's an...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstroStrat89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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My coworker thanked me for turning down the thermostat.

I said "don't sweat it "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Captain-Americano
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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My landlord keeps yelling at me for not turning down the music in my apartment

I guess he’s got a sound argument.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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The turning of the earth really makes my day
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elrond_Halfelven
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Thanks for turning me into the spermatozoan of a large sea mammal, Dad.

You're whale cum, son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuLongDong
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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If you are turning right at the end of a street...

... then you are taking the only right that's left.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quillo_Manar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2015
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I said "my landlord is really turning the building around."

Friends dad: "How is she doing that? How is she going to make the front of the building the back?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2013
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My wife was turning on the garden hose for the season...

So I yell "God Bless You Mrs. Hosewater!"

She's not much of a Vonnegut fan but I was pretty proud of myself :)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twerq
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
🚨︎ report
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual

It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddiss_jc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report

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