A list of puns related to "The Skydivers"
A baseball batter goes (SMACK) AHHHHHH a skydiver goes AHHHHH (SMACK)
One goes βwackβ¦ darnβ while the other goes βdarnβ¦ wackβ
Oh, chute!
He's coming down with a cold one
He bought the farm.
My son burst into tears. I explained, "yes, buddy, it's sad, but they knew what they were getting into". My son replied, "I know, but it's still so sad. I mean, how many are in a brazliian? Is more than a million?"
Chute!
the ground.
Apparently, if your parachute fails, you have your whole life to fix it.
He didn't have the guts.
He was a descent guy.
The ground.
He was an expert in the field
Edit: I made this up myself!
because we recently had a falling out
I guess you can say he was too chicken to do it
Anyway, about halfway down he said, "So, how long have you been an instructor?"
Prophets are falling
They had a chute out.
It was a huge let down.
What equipment do you need to skydive over the Eiffel Tower?
A Paris Chute
One says βHow about a baking while skydiving? Thatβd be thrilling!β The other replies, βI dunno, I donβt think Itβd be worth the whiskβ
A couple were watching the news.
"Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident," said the newscaster.
The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing... "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."
After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"
The work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates."
1 Β - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2Β Β - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3Β Β - Half the people you know are below average.
4Β Β - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6 Β - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7Β Β - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 Β - If you want the rainbow, you have got to put up with the rain.
9 Β - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ...... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever... So far, so good.
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name.
25 - If at first, you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is a place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
I will now take suggestions on how to be more sensitive to deaf people. I'm all ears!
If you're skydiving and your parachute cord is tangled, don't worry about it. You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
What is the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
One goes "Smack....dang it" and the other goes "Dang it...smack!"
Also what is the difference between a plumbing supply company and a U boat
One ships sinks and the other sinks ships
I went skydiving for my birthday a handful of years back. Decided to call my mom to tell her what I had just done after I landed. Here is the phone call.
Me- Hey mom guess what I just did? I just jumped out of a plane.
Her- Really? (To my dad) Your son just jumped out of plane.
Him - Why? Was it broken?
Taking a leadership class through my work in which we watch a video about a woman freaking out about skydiving. She eventually calms down and makes the jump. We go on to discuss what was going through her head and what had to be done to convince her to work through her fears. We discuss other things the leader in the video would need to do to help.
Another employee asks the instructor, "Well its just good she wasn't blind. I'm sure you know about blind people and skydiving."
Instructor replies with genuine concern, "Oh, no, I don't think I do. They have a hard time with skydiving?"
Employee, "Well yeah, it scares the crap out of the dogs."
The room explodes in laughter while the instructor slowly shakes his head.
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, Whack, Dang! A bad skydiver goes Dang! Whack!
One goes whack "shit"
The other goes "shit" whack
One goes whack...dammit! The other goes dammit...whack!
Chute!
The ground
The ground.
What's the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer?
A bad golfer goes... WACK! "Darn it!"
A bad skydiver goes... "Darn it!" WACK!
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