Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
They have me another one, free of charge.
Because the IRS has no cents.
He wanted it meteor
He wanted to practice socialist distancing
Sick bass turds
I asked her never to bring pedi files into our house again.
It was the leased of my worries.
The man looks shocked and asks "Oh no! What's the Cure?"
Although it's lovely to receive such high praise from HMRC, to be honest I can't even remember sending one in.
She still can't see things my way
That wouldn't make cents.
There was a hare in it
Because his wife didn't want two brown chicken brown cow.
Clerk responds, "No problem, sir. This room is called 'The Lobby'"
Because there was a hole in one.
#FirstWhirledProblems
A smile!!! :)
But that’s also the only gift I can afford this year ....... what can I say, I’m a post-Renaissance man, baroque.
Happy holidays.
I'm trying to get my daughter into Lord of the Rings. I'm watching Return of the King. I thought she'd think the Eye of Sauron would be cool. We watch the scene where Aragorn cuts the head off of the Mouth of Sauron. Without missing a beat she turns to me and says:
"What's next? The nose of Sauron?
Again, the bartender tells him, "No, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes."
The duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"
The duck is silent for a moment and then asks, "Got any nails?"
Confused, the bartender says no.
"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
Honey, I’m home!
"Sorry, sir. We can't do that."
"But I have the receipt here! I'm demanding my money back!" I shouted.
"You can't do that with a lottery ticket, sir," he replied.
As dependent Clauses
His bill was tax de-duck-table
I guess George Lucas wasn't a fan of "Ewok the Line."
I asked my boss how his father is getting back to the hospital, and if he needs me to call a tow truck.
I was watching Michael Collins, a movie about the Irish war of independence, when my dad walked into the room.
"Oh Michael Collins is on, when did it start?" He asked
"Around 1916" I responded
He groaned and then walked out of the room. After many years I have finally gotten him back. This is a pretty big moment for me guys.
So I'm out bowling with my dad, he sits down and says "I'm freaking tired" of course I have to say "hi freaking tired, I'm OP, have you seen my dad?" He looks at me with complete disappointment, then says, "yes I have seen your dad, and are you sure you have your name right OP? Because in pretty sure that you're grounded"
So yea, that backfired. GG dad.
I tell her I'm flexible and touch my toes. She is not amused.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
It was the pot calling the cattle back
They gave me another one. Free of charge.
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
It was the pot calling the cattle back
