The Phoenix Puns

Instead of being called the Joker, it could have been Joaquin Phoenix as the Joaqer.

We were driving to a friend's house for "game day". We live in Phoenix...we have flora that doesn't like living..because..it is Phoenix.As we were driving, we passed a huge palm tree on its last root (leg) of life in the median of the road. It is literally being held up by a few 2x4's. I look at my husband with the saddest look I can muster before I say "Babe, did you see that poor palm?". Husband says, "Oh yea, that big, dead-looking ones with the boards?". I respond, "Yea, sweetie, we should say a prayer. The poor thing is on LEAF support". He was not amused...I, however, giggle every other Saturday when we pass the tree to game day. Also, please don't worry about the tree. Now that Phoenix has made it through a hot summer, I bet after winter it will just spring back to life...assuming it doesn't fall. Lastly, sorry I'm not a dad or no actually dad said it...but I was channeling that inner dad when it happened! If I need to move this post it is okay!

My father volunteers at the zoo in Phoenix and so when we visit he loves to give us tours and lots of information about the animals we see.

We were walking by the coati exhibit and he was noting that coati can turn their feet backwards in order to more easily walk down trees. He then turned to my son and said, "their feet kind of look like bear feet, don't they?"

"Yeah," my son answered.

Dad then asked, "do you know why?"

My son was really interested and asked, "why?"

Completely deadpan, my father looked at him and said, "because they don't have any shoes on."

Was talking with my S.O. who mentioned Jack Gleeson (King Joffery) spoilt the death of Sirius Black in the Order of the Phoenix. When I called him a cunt for it she said "Are you seriously getting annoyed at that?". Her brother interjected "I guess you could say he's a Sirius fan!"

While driving into Phoenix, Arizona from Flagstaff, my SO pointed out an area of road that was flooded yesterday due to the monsoon rainstorms. Looking at the crew that was cleaning up the debris from the road, I simply said, "Damn."

She replied, "Yeah, they could have used one.

Just discovered this awesome subreddit and have a dad joke that I heard while hanging out with my friend a while back. We're driving back to their house and the interaction went like this:

Friend: Hey dad, want to hear a joke?

Dad: Sure, hit me!

Friend: What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?

Dad: thinks to himself Phoenix and Scottsdale!

Friend: I-what? Phoenix and Scottsdale?

Dad: Yeah, you said his two sons! Tuscon, Arizona! Phoenix and Scottsdale!

He just howled with laughter while my friend kept calling him lame.