Did you hear about the flirtatious philosopher?
He was such a Socratease.
What type of sandwich did the philosopher get
Why do marine biologists make good philosophers?
Because they spent their life looking for porpoise.
I once worked in a kitchen full of philosophers...
They could never decide which to prep first, the chicken or the eggs.
While watching Harry Potter once, I said to my Dad “I wonder what the Hogwarts version of a dirty magazine would be” as Harry was rooting through his chest of things.
Without skipping a beat he said “Whorelocks.”
What is the philosopher's favorite element?
Plato-nium
I guess I know what those philosophers said when they ate bread for the first time
What did the nomad philosopher say?
Who is the hungriest philosopher?
I once dated a magazine collector...
She had many issues
source
My new neighbour asked what I did for a living, and I told her that I'm an existentialist philosopher...
Her: "So what does that mean, you just sit around thinking about being all day?"
Me: "No, some days I also think about nothing."
Why did the philosopher quit his job as a pilot?
He wanted to reach a different plane of existence
What's your cat's favorite magazine?
What is a ghost’s favorite magazine?
My friend showed me some magazine articles on fathers written in Time, Newsweek, and GQ.
I taught my kid to speed read today. He read Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone in 3 hours!
I know its only 6 words.. but its a start!
What does the philosophical dolphin think about?
My favorite Star Wars character is a philosopher
The Car of the Year for 2021 as votes by Woman magazine is.....
Which philosopher do cows love the most?
I hit Dwayne Johnson with a magazine
Someone asked me to name a greater philosopher than Nietzsche.
I fell asleep last night while reading old magazines.
I woke up this morning with back issues.
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister
Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol
Did you hear about the guy trying out for editor for the sums series of Math Magazine?
It was an addition edition audition.
How do you track Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints!
What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?
An offer you can't understand.
This is an image of an obese, yet philosophical man of the cloth.
There are only two white people in the movie Black Panther
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
What is it called when you spend an hour in the bookstore browsing for German philosophers?
What did the left eye say to the right eye when they got married?
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
What was a very common name in the middle ages?
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
What philosopher appealed to only a small, select group of people?
I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
Did you know 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
I taught my kid speed reading and I’m proud to say that he managed to finish “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” in an hour and a half.
I know it’s only six words, but it’s a start.
Oh the tangled web we weave ...
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
Drinking beer with a philosopher....
Makes you nothing Budweiser.
I'm having trouble getting rid of my old magazines.
I got dishonourably discharged from the Navy yesterday for accidentally boarding a different vessel.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
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