I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
I ran out of toilet paper the other day, and have been using newspaper since...
And man, the Times are tough!!!
What’s the human psychology behind all this toilet paper hoarding?
What’s the max amount of toilet paper you can have?
A butt load.
From my pops. He’s very proud.
What’s the Mandalorian’s favourite paper towel?
The Xinjiang regional government in China’s far west is deleting data, destroying documents, tightening controls on information and has held high-level meetings in response to leaks of classified papers on its mass detention camps for Uighurs and other predominantly Muslim minorities
apnews.com/c1d08873154907…
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.
Taking a selfie through a toilet paper roll makes you look like the moon
I went to the store and they were out of toilet paper
All we have left at the house is sandpaper. Things are getting rough.
I was running down the aisle to grab the last package of toilet paper, but I slipped and fell before someone else grabbed it.
You could say I completely wiped out.
Either sign this paper with facts (which you can't handle) or get the flu shot.
The drawer in my kitchen that is made to dispense paper towels.
Yelling "Kobe" when throwing a piece of paper into the trashcan will never be the same :(
I wonder how much the monthly bill is for toilet paper at the hospital
My wife just got a breast reduction surgery done and the doctor slapped a couple pieces of paper across her nipples that had bandage removal tips...
They were post-tit notes.
TIL that there was a group of middle aged women called “Snapists” who believed that they were married to Severus Snape on the ‘astral plane’ and that he controlled their lives. An independent researcher published an in-depth paper on the matter.
mdpi.com/2077-1444/5/1/21…
Einstein: Dad, my paper on The Theory of Relativity finally got published!
Dad: Damn son, it’s about time!
Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road
Cause it got stuck in a crack
CORONAVIRUS = TOILET PAPER PREPPING?? I feel like everyone's worried about the wrong end of the body??
What Movie sounded terrible on paper but the execution was great?
Edge of Tomorrow ? To me it honestly sounded like your typical hollywood action movie with all of the big explosions but lack of story or character development. Boy was I wrong. The story was gripping to the very end. Would they be able to find the queen and defeat the aliens? After so many tries I started to think otherwise. Also the relationship between Cruise's character and Blunt's was phenomenal. I deeply cared about them and wanted a happy ending... which there was!
Anyways, maybe the better question is what movie did you sleep on/underrate going in but left you speechless walking out?
(Also this may or may not be a piggy back post off of that other thread tee hee)
TIL of the Machine Identification Code. A series of secret dots that certain printers leave on every piece of paper they print, giving clues to the originator and identification of the device that printed it. It was developed in the 1980s by Canon and Xerox but wasn't discovered until 2004.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mac…
I just made my personal small datapack that lets me craft paper and bread in the 2x2 grid. It will save me quite some hassle.
I just remembered this scene from paper mario anf felt the need to share it with you guys
My son made a paper Enderman and hung him from the ceiling outside his room. I just met him in the dark.
Did you hear the joke about a sheet of paper?
GIVE ME THE FUCKING TOILET PAPER
The most unrealistic thing about post-apocalyptic movies is the fact that toilet paper isn’t treated as a top priority
My 10 year old came in with a piece of paper and said “Dad, I’ve got a joke for you.”
Then she ripped it in half and said, “Never mind, it’s tearable.”
I feel like I’ve succeeded as a dad.
TIL that in 2003, Dutchman Kees Moeliker won the Ig Nobel Prize for Biology after writing a paper on "the first case of homosexual necrophilia [by a mallard]" after watching a duck die after crashing into his window, only for its corpse to be "raped almost continually for 75 mins" by another duck.
hetnatuurhistorisch.nl/fi…
We forgot the feel of toilet paper
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Art created only using the folding and creasing of Paper
Adam Bienkov: You have to give credit to No 10 for knowing exactly how to play the UK press. Most papers focusing on the (irrelevant) absent signature, (made-up) photocopy detail and the (non-existent) court threat, rather than central fact Johnson broke his pledge not to ask for a delay.
twitter.com/AdamBienkov/s…
My 7 yr old took a picture of the inside of a wrapping paper tube.
Bill Gates 1994: This CD-ROM can hold more information than all the paper that's here below me.
[Highlight] Steph duels Klay in rock-paper-scissors for the privilege of honoring Andre Iguodala after his tribute video
streamable.com/xamgp
Why is the new Kindle screen textured to look like paper?
So you feel write at home.
yearly reminder that wrapping paper has a battlemap on the bottom side
We're destroying virgin forests for toilet paper. The vast majority of the tissue products found in our homes are made from wood pulp, the use of which drives the degradation of forests around the world. Their everyday consumption facilitates a “tree-to-toilet pipeline”.
cleantechnica.com/2020/02…
My friend got a new job removing italics from reader correspondence at the local paper...
He gets to right letters to the editor.
TIL that in the 1950's, donut shops were some of the first food businesses commonly open late at night. They became hot spots for police working the night shift since it gave them a place to grab a snack, fill out paper work, or even just take a break. This is why donuts became associated with cops.
smithsonianmag.com/smart-…
Why did the man bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he was a party pooper.
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in the cracks
Why couldn‘t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
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