when I was a child we were so poor that my mother made us clothes out of the scraps my dad would bring home from work at the sandpaper factory
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
What do you call the Mini-Me of your mother?
What did the mother melon say to her daughter when she wanted to run away to get married?
A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.
What did the British guy tell his Indian mother when he was going to leave?
What did the Indian say to his mother after leaving Bombay?
What did the psychic say to her mother at the shady auto dealership?
What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
The show "How I Met Your Mother" was just
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Nate's mother asked him to delay the marriage by an year...
she wanted his fiance to mari_nate.
A child picks up a piece of chocolate and puts it in the shopping cart. The mother takes the chocolate, as it is unhealthy, and puts it down next to the eggs.
For its unhealthy being, it was in eggs-aisle.
The wife's mother was taken ill...
So I swiftly rushed off to find a pen and paper to write for an ambulance.
My mother called the cops on me because she heard I was dealing coke in the neighborhood
I tried to tell her multiple times that I was working for Pepsi, but she just wouldn't listen.
A family was out hunting and the mother said it was time to go. The father replied, I’ll be right there, let me just...
Your mother couldn’t believe that an actual skunk could predict the future.
But it was a real fortune smeller.
Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problems with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about eating the mother of two.
But upon further consideration he was gladiator.
My wife went to get a pedicure with her mother. She sent me a text saying that they have an exfoliating, foot scrub that has CBD/Hemp oil in it and she was going to try it out...I replied “baby, do you realize that you left the house with slippers on...
But you are coming back with high heels”. Her mom sent me a text asking me what I said that made my wife throw her phone in to her lap and groan aloud. Mission accomplished haha
While giving birth to a set of twins, the mother losses consciousness.
The doctor called in the woman’s brother from the waiting room and asked if he would like to name the children. The brother agrees.
When the mother wakes up, the doctor informs her that her brother has named the children while she was unconscious.
She said “Oh no... my brother is an idiot. What did he name the kids?”
The doctors replied “Well, the girl’s name is Denise!”
“Oh, that’s not so bad! And the boy?”
“Denephew”
A player asked why I shut down the soccer game suddenly when his mother started cussing and yelling...
I replied, "ask your mom. The reason is a parent."
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
In The Matrix, Neo's mother was good at addition
She knew how to carry The One
I got down on one knee and asked her if she'd be the mother to my kids, she said yes...
Guess who's gonna find a bunch of losers in a box tomorrow morning at their doorstep.
I learned the name of Baby Yoda's mother...
What holiday do we celebrate in May to remember all the mothers we lost in the past year?
My twin brother was being rude to our mother on the phone, so I pushed him out of the window...
Now I am being charged with making an "obscene clone fall"
I don’t know why I couldn’t convince my wife she would like the set of knives I made her for Mother’s Day.
I made several good points.
Does anyone know where we find the handmade Mother's Day gifts the school sends out each year?
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
What did the redditor say to his mother while waiting for her to get the automobile out of the garage?
Get the kar-ma!
I’ll see myself out.
My mother's mother lost her false teeth at the retirement home. We searched the place everywhere but couldn't find them.
We looked in every nook and granny!
I just discovered that Cardi B's mother was one of the Spice Girls.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
My mother's mother hit the jackpot at the BINGO!!!
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when she left India?
My mother always used to say "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"
Nice lady and all, I truly loved her, but a terrible surgeon
What did the young Toyota say to his mother when she asked what he wanted for dinner?
I went to dinner with a cannibal family I know. The conversation was flowing. Their daughter suddenly piped up “Mummy I don’t like Nanny”. The mother replied...
“Well leave her on the side and just eat your vegetables”.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
Edit: Sorry if the joke is terrible, I just made it up.
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
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