The three members of the *cult*ery
What do you say to a woman who has given birth to members of the military?
Thank you for your cervix.
Before we go to bed, my wife always recites the members of the round table..
What family members are most likely to spoil the s’more children?
Friend: ...my wife is uncomfortable with them because they’ve joined the church of Satan. Like, he showed me his membership card. They’re paid members, man.
Me: well; someone has to pay the devil’s dues
Friend: damn it.
I keep winning the "Laziest Member" award at my gym.
A local funk band decided to keep their horn section of cow ghosts, despite them spooking the other members from behind.
Because a herd in the band is worth a boo in the tush.
How will you call "The hot ones" members when they will die?
I interrogated a member of the duck gang today.
Thankfully he quacked under the pressure...
How do members of the Catholic Church pay each other?
They use papal transactions
I made matching t-shirts for the members of my fortune tellers club...
But it turned out not all of them were mediums
I’m a member of the anti apostrophe league.
Do not even get me started.
Why should you always wear a condom when having sex with a member of the Dark Side?
Why are the members of the Titanic survivors’ support group so close?
Everyone was in same boat.
The members of Al-Qaeda aren't educated folks
But are experts in Crash Courses
7, 8, and 9 are the only members of their gang. 7 is the fighter, small but tough; 9 is the conman, big but nice; and 8...
is between 7 and 9, average and mean.
What do you call a member of law enforcement who likes to show people his skills on the Guitar?
My buddy says he’s a member of the royal family on paper
The cleanest way to greet a member of the band Kiss
I'm a member of the Galactic Senate on a dimplomatic mission to Alderaan - Princess Leia
Hi, I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan, I'm dad - Darth Vader
An audience member asked me how I made the brisk sharp cracking sound with my hand.
I told her it was a snap.
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
Did you hear about the bunch of Serengeti herbivores that no longer allowed lions to attack them unless a weak member needed removed?
I'm a member of the American Medical Association, AMA.
I used to have bedsheets with images of one member of a comedy duo from the 1920's, but could never get any good sleep...
I couldn't rest on my Laurels.
What do you have to do to become a member of the Golf Equipment Repair Association?
All the members of Greenday have fallen asleep
Remind me to wake them up when September ends
The members of my favorite rock band all have leprosy
Their band is called Def Leper
The members of REM got unbaptized.
They lost their religion.
I used to be a member of the secret cooking society...
But they kicked me out for spilling the beans...
Good to see members of the lgbt community out and about
Who is always the cleanest member of the family
If you ask a member of the NRA what they think about machine guns, be prepared.
They'll give you an automatic response.
If you don't know which member of your family doesn't know the meaning of "thou",
How many members does the klu klux klan have?
What member of the bee family makes the best Honey?
What do Japanese gang members do at the spa?
They relax in the Yakuzzi.
Who is the coolest most relaxed member of the orchestra?
I used to be a member of the secret cooking society...
But they kicked me out for spilling the beans...
I used to be a member of the secret cooking society...
But they kicked me out for spilling the beans...
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