Did you hear about the bullet who lost his job?
I lost my job at the keyboard factory
I guess I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
I lost a contest with a religious lady to see who could destroy a laptop with an ax the fastest.
I was a computer hacker that was second to nun.
Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that’s draped in bacon. “A bacon tree! We’re saved!” He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets.
It wasn’t a bacon tree. It was a ham bush.
I lost my wife at the check-in desk at Helsinki Airport
She disappeared into FinnAir.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
They lost power at the mall today, the elevator completely malfunctioned!
The escalator just stopped and staired.
I lost 25% of my roof in the wind storm last night
The older I get, the more I think about the people I've lost over the years...
... I guess I really am a lousy tour guide.
I know someone who once lost complete use of the left side of their body.
The cartilage between two of my vertebrae has lost its rigidity and now I feel like I’m back in the 80s.
I have to replace the floppy disc.
The dog was lost and asked the squirrel for directions
But the squirrel didn't know because he was new in town.
The dog was barking up the wrong tree.
A ship transporting sausages lost its cargo at sea today, and the situation got really bad when the seagulls swooped down
It was a tern for the wurst.
The older I get the more I miss those I lost along the way.
Maybe being a tour guide wasn't a great idea.
Did you hear about the wizard who lost his equipment in a burning building?
He had to fire his staff.
The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.”
“If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!”There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a shout, “Two thousand five hundred!”
Did you hear about the kid who found great comfort in paddling after he lost both his parents?
I just saw a preview of a movie about the search for a racing car hauler who got lost because he was the last one in the convoy.
It was a trailer about trailing the trailing trailer.
Did you hear about the Ocean that lost to a lake?
Well the Ocean was quite salty about it.
So i lost my job at the bank on my first day..
A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My movie lost an entire day’s worth of film because the camera’s mechanism malfunctioned.
In the control tower they lost track of a flight going from Helsinki to Stockholm
The plane had disappeared in Finnair
I lost my job at the gym today...
They said it wasn't working out.
As I get older, I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way.
Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t the right choice.
I met a guy who had an accident and lost the left side of his body…
Wanda lost sight of her life after the events of Infinity War
Thankfully, she fully recovered her vision.
Went camping the other day in a desert, lost the batteries to the TV remote
Wherever it is, it's a remote part in the desert
Why did the paladin get lost in the woods at night?
Movie idea: All of Santa's helpers get lost at sea, and one by one they are brought back to the North Pole by a clam.
We can call it "Elf on a Shellfish"
Star Wars: The Lost Jedi.
As I sit here reflecting on my life and all the people that I’ve lost…
I’m thinking tour guide may not have been a good career choice.
My wife just told me she lost her job at the corn factory
So I said, "Shucks to be you."
What happened to the king after he lost the rock throwing contest?
I lost my watch the other day
Haven’t had the time to look for it.
The gambler with chronic carpal tunnel lost huge in Vegas.
... just 'cuz of one bad hand.
hear about tragic fire at Webster's? Every copy of the draft edition: lost.
I lost the keys for my piano
Forget opening it, how am I supposed to play?
Lost track of which kite was mine at the park yesterday
They were all in da skies
What is the detectives name who just lost his house
Did you hear about the haunted house that lost its liquor license the day after halloween?
They got in trouble for giving boos to people under 21
Last week I lost the volume knob from my stereo
It hasn't turned up since then.
I lost my job at the grocery store stocking orange juice
I just couldn’t concentrate
why was the man who lost his legs below the knee so tired all the time?
What did the tomato say to his long lost friend?
We've got alot to ketchup on!
Lost my job at the keyboard factory yesterday
I wasn't putting in enough shifts apparently
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
As I get older I remember all the people I've lost..
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