It was a miss-steak.
He got t-boned.
it's called cowardice
It was a shingles bar...
🥸
The farmer's wife said "300 times, isn't that wonderful, dear? Maybe you should watch him. Maybe he'll show you how..." The farmer replied "Yeah, he's a hell of a bull, but it wasn't all with the same cow."
Little did she know that I immediately bought stocks just to have some company.
IT DROWNED.
It's a teste mint to his determination.
Bison
A Barce-loner
and Tonto had been riding hard for hours when they can to a town. The Lone Ranger and Tonto ties up their horses to the hitching post. He told Tonto “the horses are hot, run around them in a circle until they cool down.” He went into the bar and ordered a drink. A stranger walked up and said “You’re the Lone Ranger, right?” He said yea and the stranger said “you left your injun running”
Cow-culus.
(Courtesy of my 10 year old.)
They're heavily calfinated
https://preview.redd.it/dhtn36un8qw61.png?width=960&format=png&auto=webp&s=44a92e65eec7b2fa52bc6e3a0b70bc354bf8546a
He was a dumb bass
Cause they have beef
She would have had a cow.
You look for the fresh prints!
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
I guess he got a promotion for being the only one outstanding in his field
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
it's Hans free now..
It’s always nice to have a bit of company.
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
That was the punchline
You unplug it!
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
Oops, wrong sub.
Attire
A pit bull bites the hand that feeds it, while a hot dog feeds the hand that bites it.
handshakes
But Patrick is the star.
Cause there’s no such thing as an uncle-eater
The no bell prize.
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
I just wanted some company.
He said no.
Iron Man stops the bad guy, Aluminum Man foils their plans.
Boss: Is your car with the mechanic?
Me: Car?
“Bison”
