What did the emperor do when he saw a hot chick?

Caesar.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Homework help becomes dad joke.

My daughter asks, "Dad, can you give me a sentence with a metaphor in it."

"I went to the singles club hoping to find a hot chick, but I metaphor."

👍︎ 26
💬︎
👤︎ u/Cry2Laugh
📅︎ Jan 10 2015
🚨︎ report
I was barking up the wrong tree...

I was at work riding around with my coworker and buddy, he's married and already an old pervert at 29. We were driving down the interstate in traffic and looking at hot girls as we drive, we get into the far right lane, to where I have nothing but trees to my side. He says, "damn man that chick was hot" as a car passes by and I replied, "I ain't got any bitches but I've got a few birtches over here!" And cracked up. We work for a stump grinding company, this is an onion joke!

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/junppu
📅︎ Sep 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Dads take on vegetable based rock bands

This is an older story, I think it was roughly 98 or 99. My little brother was getting into rock and was listening to Limp Biskit and Korn. He saved up some money to get a CD so my dad took him to Sam Goody. My little brother gets the newest hit record by Korn and brings it to the counter and check out. With my dad by his side, he places the record on the counter and the late nineties rocker chick, loaded up with tons of eye liner and hot topic wear working the cash register says "oh yeah! I love Korn, I know everything about them, I have all their records." Without a fucking second thought and the straightest face, my dad says "I guess that makes you a little corny."

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/LDdesign
📅︎ Nov 27 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.