Why is a Dyson vacuum cleaner considered both good and bad at the same time?

It sucks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTechGuy30
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
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For a holiday last year, my father took us to a narrow inlet in the ocean, where we had a good time...

He said Merry Isthmus!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
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Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time

The spacebar

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?

I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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What’s the opposite of a good time?

Whatever happens in the MEANtime!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Two monsters were at a party having a good time when one of them noticed a lady monster rolled her eyes at them. The monster asked his monster friend "what should I do?"

The other other monster replied "be a gentleman, roll them back to her."

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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If you get this pun, you have saved me the time of writing a good title. And if you save me even one second, you have saved my day entire. v.redd.it/feo6wfvmmco31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brystander
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Especially if it's a good book that makes you lose track of the time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Devanshi1618
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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I was in the pub having a drink when a girl came up to me and said she can show me a good time. So I followed her out the back where she took off her top...

...and she ran 100m in 10 seconds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
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My dad says the only difference between a good meal and a good time..

is where you put the cucumber..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CoreyReynolds
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2020
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The aviary I visited had many birds but none of what I really wanted to see. I had a good time anyway.

No egrets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siphodeus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?

A square dance

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadacolt45
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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The only good time to yell β€œI have diarrhea” is when

you are playing Scrabble.

It's worth a shitload of points.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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Friend: My mouth burned the whole time cause my dad made me eat this hot pepper in exchange for the show ticket. Wasn’t even a good show.

Me: You just really ate to see it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderZ__
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
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Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?

The prince was unbearable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keksyz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Even good harmonica players suck half the time...

And when they don't suck they blow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TmickyD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2015
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Which state in the US has people saying good morning all the time?

Ohio.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YuHaoLevi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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Let the good times roll v.redd.it/2xpggrde4o701
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punchki
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
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My wife made me wait a good long time with my friends at the pool before I realized she wasn’t coming with my towel...

You could say she left me hanging out to dry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StretchSmiley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
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Do you recall that film that was kinda like A Bug's Life and came out at the same sort of time as A Bug's Life but wasn't nearly as good as A Bug's Life?

Well you should, it's Remember Antz Day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wigglesface
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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The time of year: Lent, itself, to Good Friday puns.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikemol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
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Where's a good place for birds to buy tools and alcoholic beverages at the same time?

The Crow Bar

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2018
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Got my fiancee good. I am the breadwinner this time

http://i.imgur.com/cDxysnF.png

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wlee1987
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2016
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My dad offers a good one next time you put your car in the shop...

If you go to one of those shops where they offer to "top off all your fluids" here's something you dads can use. Dad: calls auto shop Yea I'd like to call and complain Shop owner: Yes sir, what's the problem? Dad: Well, I put my car in your shop today and you offered to top off ALL my fluids. Well you didn't. Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, what did we miss? Dad: I still have half a tank of gas! So you didn't top off all my fluids! insert facepalm here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuneralShadow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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