The Hurt of two feetie.
It was a steal.
He had a lot of toe foo.
Iβm having a hard time dealing with this.
A velociWraptor
She gave him her peas.
Hiss and her bath towels
A broken drum kit.
Nobody can beat that....
They werenβt the color I wanted, but beggars canβt be shoes-y.
I donβt know what to make of it.
Just a little something to help her see in the New Year.
With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".
They gave me the boot.
They will all be Santatized
A heater
He was asimptomatic.
Not sure if this is allowed here. But I thought Iβd give it a try.
Iβm buying a stand mixer for my SOβs birthday. I was looking to add a note to the gift thatβs punny. βI hope the treats you make with this are as sweet as youβ. That ones terrible. I think?
But I would definitely love some help. Thank you.
Sorry. I just gotta vent.
I checked my kids' backpacks like usual but they weren't there.
After we bought him a simple present, he was past tense
Spoiler alert
Liquid nitrogen.
"Thanks! I'll never part with this!"
I said " Give him a gift of the Holiday Spirit".
Theyβre so shellfish.
My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. Iβd schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since weβre there.
Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says βcoolest dad in the galaxy,β a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift Iβm thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.
Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??
- Iβm still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!
Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I donβt really have that βcreativeβ part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesnβt matter!
Posted this in r/ShowerThoughts but it got taken down, despite the fact that it's 100% truth.
That would have been real crumby.
Edit: thanks for the gifts! Iβve never felt so kneaded.
You either have the gift or you don't.
A mirror.
A guy sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the mutt replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running. The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"
The owner replies, "'Cause he's fucking liar. He didn't do any of that shit."
But she slowly started warming up to it.
Ebola fruit.
say this one out loud if your stuck.
I said 'No, thank you' and then looked down at my daughter and said 'Can you believe she thought I'd trade you away for just a tiny bit of lotion? I'd need a whole bottle, at least!'
She thought that was pretty funny.
Iβm finding it hard to deal with this.
A broken drum.. you can never beat it
You can't beat it
I find it extremely difficult to deal with.
You can't beat it...
I find that very hard to deal with.
Iβm having a hard time dealing with it.
I find that very hard to deal with.
It's a gift they can never part with.
