Why are janitors the best getaway drivers?

They always make a clean getaway.

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📅︎ Feb 06 2021
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What did the broccoli say to the cauliflower while making their getaway?

"Floret!"

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👤︎ u/Brixan1
📅︎ Jul 06 2020
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The Getaway
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👤︎ u/Iziahzay
📅︎ Feb 12 2019
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Punguins #2 The Getaway

Here it is! My second Punguins comic. Be sure to leave some feedback!

Comic: http://penguinproductions.org/comics?id=2


Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/penguinproductionsapps/?fref=ts

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PenguinProdApps

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👤︎ u/Drsmall
📅︎ Feb 02 2016
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Why did the elephant make a terribly slow getaway driver?

His trunk was filled with water.

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📅︎ Nov 09 2016
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Someone robbed a Windex factory the other night.

Police are looking into it, but it looks like the crooks made a clean getaway.

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👤︎ u/Naitraen
📅︎ Jul 08 2020
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New Style of Burgular

Q: Why did the burglar take a bath?

A: He wanted to make a clean getaway

Boom Boom

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📅︎ Dec 11 2019
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A putter and a #4 iron rob a bank, who is waiting out in the car?

The getaway driver.

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📅︎ Jun 14 2019
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The story of Kenneth Lamar Noid

The following story is true.

Perhaps you have heard of The Noid. He was a character created by Domino's Pizza to act as a villain who would attempt to make your pizza taste crappy due to lack of freshness. Thankfully, according to Domino's, The Noid could easily be foiled by their 30 minute delivery guarantee.

On January 30, 1989, a man by the name of Kenneth Lamar Noid took the creation of the little guy as a personal attack on his character. Not one to take such a slight lying down, Mr. Noid took a Domino's location in Atlanta hostage, forcing them to make a special pizza and salad against their will. His demands included $100,000, getaway transportation, and a copy of the hit science fiction novel, "The Widow's Son".

Eventually, Mr. Noid surrendered to the police. After the incident, when reached for comment about Mr. Noid, Police Chief Reed Miller was quoted as saying, "He's paranoid."

Thank you for your time.

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👤︎ u/salty904
📅︎ Aug 30 2018
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Dad dropped a fucking brilliant one last night... needs some backstory

So my brother is a policeman and last night got a call about a stolen washing machine...

So he goes to it, ridiculous argument insues between the two parties then a slight wrestling match from my brother and the accuser and he gets nicked. So then my mum asks him

"What about the washing machine? Did the other man steal it?"

my dad replies instantly:

"It made a clean getaway"

I can't wait to have kids so my brain work the same way...

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📅︎ Feb 25 2016
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Honing My Craft

After getting back from a long weekend getaway, my wife was trying to get some ice out of the freezer, but it was all stuck together.

Her: Babe? Can you break up the ice?

Me (leaning my head into the freezer): So... what do you do for a living?

Her: What? ... Ohhhhh...

I grinned and self-high-fived.

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📅︎ Apr 21 2014
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