I was at a friends funeral and I said to the widow “do you mind if I say a word?”
She said go ahead.
I stood up said “plethora” and sat back down.
“Thank you”, the grieving widow responded, “it means a lot”
The only people to show up to my friend’s funeral were some of his one night stands and some friends from church.
I just returned from my MIL's funeral, she was hit on the head during a tennis match & killed
It was a lovely service...
The new funeral home in town will not let me view my loved ones before their burial, sadly.
What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson’s funeral?
The inventor of Hard and Shoulders shampoo died. At the funeral, his wife gave a 20 minute moving eulogy...
There wasn't a dry scalp in the place!
Did you hear about the man who's funeral was interrupted by the sprinklers?
He was sent to a watery grave.
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down "funeral"?
No? Shame, it was real fun.
At a funeral, a little old man goes up to the grieving widow.
"May I say a word?"
Sniffling, the widow agrees. The old man clears his throat, "Plethora"
"The widow smiles. "Thanks, that means a lot."
Guy walks up to the widow at her husband's funeral and says, “May I just say one word?”
“Sure,” she replies.
“Plethora,” the guys says.
The widow says, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
My dad died on 02/19/18, this joke came to me while signing paperwork at the funeral home...
What do they call the best salesman at a funeral home?
The Top Urner
The funeral
So there's this funeral, and the widow asks if anyone would like to say anything.
A man stands up and say: "I'd like to say a word."
The widow nods and the man takes the podium.
He says, "Plethora." and goes back to his seat.
The widow says: "Thank you, that means a lot."
I went by the funeral home last night.
The place sure looked dead.
Why did the pregnant woman throw up at the funeral?
My good friend drowned while at the beach last month. I tearfully placed a life preserver on his coffin at the funeral.
It's what he would've wanted.
I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.
A man goes to a dear friend's funeral. He asks the widow if he could say a word for the deceased.
She says "Go ahead".
He says "Plethora".
She thinks for a second, looks down and replies "Thank you. That means a lot".
A man went to the funeral of his dear friend and asked the wife of the deceased to ask if he could say a word, to which she said: Yes. He said "Plethora"
She said "thank you, that means a lot"
In an Italian funeral a man comes in and say to the dead man...
He pasta away... ripepparoni on this dude
From my 7 year old: "how do you get to the funeral home?"
You take the last right.
I'm so proud.
I hate that funerals are always in the A.M.
I'm just not a mourning person
At a funeral a man sits Behind the woman who’s husband just died. The man leans forward and asks, “do u mind if I say a word?” she responds, “Not at all, please do.” the man stands up and says “plethora” and sits back down.
“Thanks,” said the woman, “that means a lot.”
Who deals with the funerals of gods?
An immortician
>A dumb joke a thought up playing hockey one day
I called up the funeral parlor and asked to speek with...
I'm organising a funeral for the world's fattest man
As I turned up to the funeral in a donkey costume, that's when I realised
I've made an ass of myself
Why does the funeral director always bring Ricola™ to work with him?
It makes sense with all the coffin!
What happened to the funeral director when he got sick?
What’s the worst thing one can say at piece of papers funeral?
I attached a coloring book to my shoulder when I went to the funeral
Just in case someone needed a shoulder to crayon
My grandpa died last week, but his body was delivered halfway through the funeral....
I guess you could say he was my late grandfather.
What did the priest say at the apple’s funeral?
When my granddad died, I asked the funeral home why his funeral cost more than my grandma's who past away a year ago.
They blamed it on the cost of living.
I was at a funeral the other day and heard someone yell "BNAG"
I told him that it was bang out of order.
How did everyone know the funeral director was sick?
He was coffin pretty often.
The inventor of fairy bread passed away yesterday. Hundreds and thousands attended his funeral.
Why did the musician lose a gig at a funeral?
He couldn’t find the right tomb.
A man was at his funeral where miraculously, he came back to life. However, he soon died again, and a second funeral was held, which went much smoother than the first one.
He must have had a re-hearse-al.
Why did the man refuse to stand up at a funeral?
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
Once considered to be holding funerals near a dead crow, now evidence indicates that crows may be examining the body and surrounding area for potential threats to the flock.
It's a murder investigation.
Just been to the funeral of a close friend who died when he was hit in the head by a tennis ball
I just came back from my coworker’s funeral, who died when he was hit on the head by a tennis ball.
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