My roomba went out my front door and a pack of bears attacked it, an eagle carried it away to the ocean, and a shark finished it off.

Nature abhors a vacuum.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingogordy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?

An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.

πŸ‘︎ 82
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πŸ‘€︎ u/butmuhfreedoms
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Sick eagle crossed the border without a passport

He is now ill-eagle

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Water-into-weed
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the vet treat the eagle?

It was ill-eagle.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBrokeABone
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the bald eagle that became a preacher?

He thought he was a bird of pray.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know there is a church for the Eagles?

They are birds of pray after all.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did donald trump throw the sick eagle out of USA?

Because it was illeagle.

πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darealhama
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Ted the eagle was joking with his friend, Manny, who has an extra foot.

"You are a bird of Manny talons", said Ted. Manny responded, "I really think that you are two talon Ted".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does the government hate it when eagles fall sick?

Because it’s β€œill eagle”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/subradu
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't the eel and the eagle work together?

Because it would be EelEagle

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatBarrel
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Me: The eagles won last night.

Coworker: oh did you watch the game?

Me: covered in blood and scratches what game

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartan-Mav
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the Eagles win the Super Bowl?

They're very talonted.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigdogbrowndog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
🚨︎ report
for the 4th of july, here's a little known america fact: did you know that as the national bird, there’s a whole list of things that you can’t do to an eagle under federal law?

obviously you can't kill one, but you also can't relocate one from where it's living, cause an eagle nest to come to any harm, and the oddest part, as i'm not sure how they'd even track this, is there's even a bit in the law about infecting them with any communicable diseases?

but i suppose there's really no way around that being ill eagle

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Canadian eagle say?

"I'm soary"

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KalaiProvenheim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sick eagle which is breaking the law?

ill-eagle.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prahasith3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
🚨︎ report
So I heard the Eagles won the Superb Owl.

Poor owl.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedocproc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eagle out on the sea?

A seagull

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clock145
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
🚨︎ report
Why can't the eel and the eagle get married?

Because it would be illegal.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/twobob815
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2015
🚨︎ report
We thought that bald eagles were an endangered species for the longest time...

Until the recent discovery that there's actually a lot more out there. They just comb over.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lsurox22
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2016
🚨︎ report
Why does the zoo put down ever eagle that gets sick?

because they are ill-eagle

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Something_Syck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Why can't a person hunt bald eagles in the US?

Because it's illeagle

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stwicksy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
🚨︎ report
A sick eagle crossed the border without a passport

He is now ill-eagle

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Water-into-weed
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?

Talonted!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report

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