The Descent Puns

That was just one of the downfalls!

into barbaraism.

It was all Hans on deck!

¿Qué dijo la gallina de un lado del camino a la gallina del otro lado del camino?

“¡PA’CA! ¡PA’CA!”

English:

What did the chicken on one side of the road say to the chicken on the other side of the road?

“Over here! Over here!”

(“Pa’ca” means “over here” in colloquial Spanish)

(I’m of Cuban descent for reference)

I have a bunch of stupid baseball questions. I know most of the rules, I just want to make sure I have all my bases covered.

• Imagine there’s a fan of the team that is currently fielding in the stands, and that said fan has a prosthetic arm. The batter hits a pitch and sends it on a home-run trajectory into the stands. If the fan in the stands throws his arm at the ball and diverts it back in the field of play, can they rightfully say that they were just “lending the team a hand” by stopping the home run?

• Consider the exact opposite situation - the fan’s team is at bat and the batter hits a fly ball to the outfield. If Elastagirl from the Incredibles just happened to be the fan in question, can she spring into action and catch the ball before the outfielder has the chance to?

• Now, imagine I smuggled a water gun into the stadium on a particularly hot day, and I managed to squirt sticky black liquid onto the batter. Does that mean he can take a walk since he was “hit by pitch”?

• Consider the freak circumstance where a ball in motion collides with a bird, causing it to spiral in its descent and eventually collide in turn with an umpire. Can the player responsible for the ball’s motion be ejected from the game due to repeatedly flipping the bird at an umpire?

• Can a losing team sub out their man on the mound with a large quantity of beer to prolong the game? There’d still be a pitcher on the mound!

• If a pitcher throws a slider into the strike zone and the batter doesn’t swing, should the umpire consider it a strike, a ball, or the catcher’s dinner?

The cops said it was in descent exposure.

Incandescent.

Edit: Sorry you guys got downvoted to oblivion for loling.
This sub isn't listed as being for or against dogecoin tips, so here are some to make up for the downvotes. :)

I visited my girlfriend in Italy, her dad didn't speak much english and I didn't speak much Italian. He's a really big Italian guy, and everytime we ate, my girlfriend would always have a really healthy meal. He would always get up from the table and say "my daughter is TOP model, top model" while spinning around and doing the most girly little dance.

Also everytime money was brought into conversation (he's considerably frugal) he would start kneeling hypothetically and praising the jew god, claiming he was of jewish descent.

Lol.

Me: Oh wow, Amnesia: The Dark Descent is on sale. 80% off bringing it down to $4. Do I really want to buy what's known as one of the scariest games?

Girlfriend: No, I definitely think you should forget about it.

Being of Native American descent I lack the ability to grow a full beard. My wife finds this a great source of comedic inspiration and dropped this gem.

Wife: You know why Prerblo can't grow a beard.

Friend: I don't know. Why?

Wife: Because it's all apache.