Only two things make me forget about all the shit that's going on with my life. Comedy and......
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︎ Mar 01 2021
I had to leave the Neanderthal comedy club early
The humor was too lowbrow
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︎ Jan 09 2021
why did the FedEx driver decide to get into standup comedy as a fallback?
all his friends told him he was really good at delivery
i came up with this myself and im kinda proud ngl
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︎ Dec 08 2020
Went to the comedy club with some friends and ended up paying for everyone...
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︎ Dec 13 2020
I wore a diaper to the comedy show
Just for shits and giggles
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︎ Nov 15 2020
I wasn't invited to perform on the annual mushroom stand-up comedy show
I guess they must have realized I'm not a fungi.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
You are watching a stand-up comedy and suddenly the comedian sits down
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︎ Jul 14 2020
Why didn't the Egg go to the Comedy festival?
He heard that the comics had the crowds cracking up
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︎ May 23 2020
Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy club than the emergency room.
You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches.
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︎ Apr 10 2020
Never go to a doctor who does standup comedy on the side.
He'll leave you in stitches.
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︎ May 30 2020
The best form of comedy
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︎ Oct 18 2019
A lot of people consider me to be the margarine of comedy
I tell a joke and they canβt believe itβs not better.
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︎ Apr 25 2020
So I hear the Grim Reaper is going into Standup Comedy
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︎ Feb 05 2020
I used to have bedsheets with images of one member of a comedy duo from the 1920's, but could never get any good sleep...
I couldn't rest on my Laurels.
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︎ Dec 05 2019
To all the dads with kids going into sketch comedy.
Dont worry, you'll see them in a bit.
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︎ Aug 29 2019
Did you hear about the fashionista that went into comedy
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︎ Sep 06 2019
Why did the dental assistant go to the comedy club?
She was told she was really good at impressions!
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︎ Aug 30 2019
Dad jokes are the sausage of comedy
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︎ May 25 2019
The police arrested a group of men at a stand up comedy show
They were charged with manslaughter
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︎ Dec 16 2018
The Comedy Roast Paradox
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︎ Sep 03 2018
My obese friend left his comedy book in the gym.
There's a joke there somewhere.
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︎ Feb 27 2019
What did the egg say to the comedy chef?
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︎ Dec 22 2018
I asked the librarian why the Divine Comedy felt slightly firmer than the other books.
"Why, Sir," she said,"that's because it's all Dante."
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︎ Apr 22 2018
Who has the shittiest job in comedy?
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︎ Jun 16 2018
Why did the sheep get booed at the comedy club?
Because he told a baaaad joke
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︎ Oct 27 2016
Get down to the comedy club on 62nd street.
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︎ Jan 28 2018
Did you hear about the fashion designer and the nurse that did a comedy show together?
They had everyone in stitches!
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︎ Feb 26 2018
The International Space Station isn't a good place for comedy (stolen from Colbert)
The jokes would go over everyone's head
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︎ Jan 07 2016
What famous comedy duo do you always see at the bank?
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︎ Jan 05 2018
So this European comedy group is working on a movie with a bizarre plot - apparently a famous rock guitarist and drummer gains control of the weather and sends it haywire.
The movie is going to be called, Monty Python and the Grohly Hail.
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︎ Dec 12 2017
Kids today don't get my references to the greats of classic comedy like Groucho, Harpo and Chico
I give them high Marx if they do.
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︎ Sep 01 2016
Anyone else go to the comedy and philosophy convention last night?
Laughed more than I thought!
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︎ Jun 20 2016
The trick to a good standup comedy act is to bring high quality fruit punch.
That way there's a punch line.
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︎ May 24 2015
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