The Chiefs Puns

He's Mahomes

The Bucs Stop Here!

Edit: thank you for alerting me it's "bucs" not "bucks". My dad experience (4 months) is better than my football knowledge

What do you call the perfect German soldiers?

Veteran-arians

Guess you could say that it was a close shave

They were just following the chicken!

It's because they're a one-Tyreek pony.

They are looking into it, but right now, they have nothing to go on.

Cream me up Scotty

Cop.

The CIEIO.

José & JosB

And import.

I guess he reacted too Sloly.

Mischief!

“Are you all Wright?!”

Busta Rhymes

Police have been working tirelessly to catch him while the Chief has decided to retire.

Shredder there.

Mischief

Amazon Prime

Cause he seemed like a "fun-gi"

He asks his driver on his way to the airport if he could drive around for a while because they have time to kill and he hasn't driven a car since becoming the pope.

Naturally, he's a bit rusty, so he's driving poorly, when suddenly he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to the pope "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.

Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."

Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"

Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."

Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"

Cop: "More important, sir."

Chief: "A major politician?"

Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."

Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"

Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But the pope's his driver."

"Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today."

“I must have taken Lief off my census”.

They are quickly captured and a great feast is prepared. The first course is the all time medals leader and the chief says “Oh, Alyson Felix, so well seasoned.” The second course follows with the 400 hurdles world record holder and the chief says “Sydney McLaughlin, delicious!” But when the 800 meter champion is served for the third course, the chief says “Oh no, thank you. I’m stuffed. I couldn’t possibly eat Athing Mu.”

Once upon a time an astronaut landed on an alien world. The world was full of trees and plants and wildlife. But one species in particular caught his eye. Short and round with huge feet, they were kind. They sang songs all day, drank, and made merry. After observing them from afar for many days, the astronaut decided to approach them and make first contact. Upon speaking to them, he found that they called themselves the Jibbles.

The astronaut lived amongst the Jibbles for many years and found that they used a unique series of toe rings as currency.  Unable to pronounce their word for the currency, he called them ToeKins, chuckling to himself at his pun.

As the years went by, the astronaut learned of a war-like race of Jibbles. They came to his village and raided their supplies. They beat up several of the sweet Jibbles, and they threatened the astronaut. Months of this had the sweet Jibbles exhausted, and the astronaut hatched a plan.

Taking all the gear from his spaceship, he snuck away to the mean Jibbles camp in the night. He met with their leader and offered him his wealth in order to buy a peace between their villages. Seeing the array of technology the astronaut had brought, the chief agreed to his terms. The astronaut asked for a sign of good faith he could show his village when he returned. So the chief removed one of his toe rings, took a knife, and sketched a crude picture of a jibble and the astronaut holding hands. This he gave to the astronaut.

Returning home, the astronaut declared that there was now peace amongst their villages! The Jibbles drank and made merry and everyone wanted to see the gift from the other tribe. Late that night, when everyone had gone to sleep drunk, the mean Jibbles snuck into camp and killed them all. Turning over the astronauts corpse, they found they couldn't remove the ring from his hand.

And that's why you shouldn't trust non-fun-Jibble-toekins.

Jose and Hose-B

Source: "Everybody Loves Raymond"

A truck driver walks into a bar and orders a beer. "You won't believe what happened to me today," he tells the bartender. "I lost control of the rig I was driving and plowed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces. After I called and reported the damage I was just waiting on a tow truck when a turnpike crew truck pulls up discharges a bunch of workers. They picked up each broken piece of the toll booth wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than half an hour, they had the booth back together and looking as good as new." "That's amazing!" the bartender exclaims. "What the heck was the creamy stuff they were using?" "Well, I had no idea, so I went over and asked the crew chief," the trucker says. "He told me it was tollgate booth paste."

Unless you're the chief.

And import.

And import.

Jose

Hose A, and Hose B.

José and Hose-B

Jose and Hose B

Hose A and Hose B