What's the difference between Hammurabi and a baby eating hash browns?

Hammurabi was Mesopotamian, a baby eating hash browns is a mess o' potato eatin'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_sir_z
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisispeculiar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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What did the sexy brown chicken say to the sexy brown cow?

Brown-chicken-brown-cow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiTro_Erebus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Why did the baker have brown fingers?

He neaded a poo

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lawsonator85
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...

No, pigs do that!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball_hawk15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Dad: Did you hear the joke about farmer brown? Me: No

Dad: Well maybe I’ll tell you someday

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PublicThinker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
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What's brown and swings from the belltower?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Remo1975
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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The girl at chipotle asked if I like white or brown rice

I told her that she’s rice-ist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoeJascoe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl shouldn’t be a metaphor for pooping

It should be a metaphor for constipation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/36chambersoffun
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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I bought a car that can only be driven when the leaves are brown...

It's an autumn mobile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
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What is brown, and runs round the garden?

Fence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlaMenck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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Dad: β€œI like to have my shoes match my pants. For instance, my brown shoes go well with my blue pants and my black shoes go well with my gray pants. My stripper heels on the other hand...”

β€œ...don’t go with anything.”

My dad never makes β€œdad jokes” but, he actually said this yesterday and I’m so proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blueholeload
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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You know the what's brown and sticky. Well what's black and bad for your teeth?

A bowling ball

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Panda2377
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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What's the difference between a brown noser and a butt kisser?

Depth perception.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BTho2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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The next Disney+ project, is a Star Wars/ Back to the Future crossover. Deer Brown gets a bounty hunter to stay in the car.

That way, they'll always have the Manned Delorean available.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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A wild brown rabbit recently became the world's first non-human creature to be charged with a crime and arrested.

Authorities claim he was found to be disturbing the peas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hell2go
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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Did you hear about Bert the brown nosed reindeer?

He's second behind Rudolph but can't stop as quickly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mahamrap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
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If you could choose either the blue belt or a brown belt, which would you choose?

You can't take both. You can taekwondo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/milestokilometers
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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The other day my friend was talking nonstop about how he didn’t like brown rice

So I told him to stop being ricest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRedSpy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
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As my friend Richard sat at my dining room table, I went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of milk and mixed in some brown powder from the yellow box in the pantry. That is how...

...I got Rich Quick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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I've been trying to force open my car door to get my drab, light-brown shorts for the past hour now...

...I left my khakis on the front seat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheManxLynx
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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Did you hear about the brown bear that had a heart attack while being detained?

It was a Kodiak arrest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConasviM
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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I suffer from the persistent delusion that I'm striped brown, white, and pink.

It's called a Neapolitan complex.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2017
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If I had known that this subreddit existed, I would've shared the tale of Brown Paper Bart with you long ago.

A man is riding his horse through the desert, and, well, he starts to get thirsty. He sees a small town off in the distance, so he sets off in that direction to get some water for his horse and some whiskey for hisself.

Well, as he gets into that little town he starts to notice something peculiar. Not a soul is out. Sun's setting, but still plenty of light. Water in the horse troughs tells him it ain't a ghost town, but folks ain't comin' out for some reason.

Now, as soon as he turns onto the town's main street, he sees a soberin' sight; the sheriff, on a ladder, hammering the last nail into a brand new gallows. He sidles his horse on up to the sheriff and says, "Pardon me sheriff. I don't mean to pry, but pray tell, who're them gallows fer?"

The sheriff looks around, surprised to see someone out. He steps down, takes off his hat and scratches the back of his head thoughtfully, before replying, "Well, I reckon you must be a stranger in these parts. I reckon then that you ain't never heard of Brown Paper Bart. Anyway, we're lynchin' him come sunrise."

"Brown Paper Bart? I reckon not, sheriff. That's a mighty peculiar name, pray tell, whaddaya call him Brown Paper Bart fer?"

"Wayill, I reckon we call him Brown Paper Bart on account 'a the fact that everything he wears is made a' brown paper. His hat's made a' brown paper, his boots is made a' brown paper. His chaps is made a' brown paper, his neckerchief's made a brown paper. Heck dang shoot, even his lunch bag is made a' brown paper!"

The man looks at the sheriff a moment, perplexed, before replying, "Well, sheriff, I reckon that's a mighty peculiar thing for a man to do, but that don't explain these brand new gallows. Pray tell, what're you lynchin' Brown Paper Bart fer?"

[Insert a dad-length pause here.]

"...Rustlin'."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malenkylizards
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2013
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What did Rihanna do about the Chris Brown abuse?

[rihmoved]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
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Did you hear about the red and brown ship that crashed into each other?

the crew got marooned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamebuz
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2016
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Why were the baker's hands brown?

Because he needed a poo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wastecadet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2014
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My sister: "What's the difference between white eggs and brown eggs?"

My dad: "Colour."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_22766
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Why did the baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a poo.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forest-of-ewood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegravybaron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/locoenglazy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the Baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scuba-schmike
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
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What is the difference between an ass kisser and brown noser?

Depth perception

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajmansell
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
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Why did the baker have brown hands?

He kneaded a poo.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2016
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