Why did the girl break up with a guy who paid for everything with ten dollar bills?

He was in tens.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runnerego
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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Why did the ice cream sundae break up?

The banana split

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
why did the magician's girlfriend break up with him?

Cause he never revealed any of his secrets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vagabondsadhu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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Why did the fish break up with his shrimp gf?

He just thought she was a little shellfish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baronvb1123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Why did The Rock break up with his girlfriend?

Because she took him for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saltyquill
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Why did she break up with the staunch republican?

Because he had to be always right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Molsen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Why did the blouse break up with the t-shirt?

Because he didn’t collar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noreason13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?

He was taken for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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There is a punk-metal band called Pangea what is it called when the band breaks up?

Continental Drift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DudeWithRedditAcc
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?

They had no chemistry πŸ₯Ί

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_graveyard152
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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My coworker keeps yelling about the tray of leftovers in the staff fridge stinking up the break room...

I finally snapped and told him to just put a lid on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/knoxollo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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Why did the stars who had been together forever finally decide to break up?

They needed their space.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the dust pan break up with the broom?

Because it was sweeping around

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacobt380
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.

The changing sea son.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogdoogdoog123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Q: Why did the lion break up with his girlfriend?

A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Abhilegend
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.

I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalibabka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Why did the garden tools break up?

Because the rake couldnt handle that his girlfriend was a hoe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mt105
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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The worst part about driving a beat up old car is worrying that it could break at any time.

Or worse, that it might not.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaanold
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
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Why did the boy telephone and the girl telephone break up?

There was just no connection...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaymantheLegend
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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My girlfriend threatened to break up with me because of my obsession over the Monkees. I thought she was kidding...

And then I saw her face

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πŸ‘€︎ u/norrisrw
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Why did the male giraffe break up with his girlfriend?

Because she was a cheetah.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keychain33
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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I was just racking up my first game of pool when the opponent said, "Do you wanna break?"

I said, "Not yet, we've only just started"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
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What did the banker break up with his girlfriend after she demanded that he forgive her loan?...

He lost interest

Edit: *Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vladipus222
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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Why did the spider break up with her partner?

She found a string that wasn't hers.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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There was a prison break and saw a midget climb up the fence and give me a nasty look

And I thought to myself β€œthat was a little condescending”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandi-ela
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Why did the Spice Girls break up?

They couldn't find any Cumin, Ground.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rsiKy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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Why did the girl ghost break up with her boyfriend?

He kept booooooootycalling her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheThurmanator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The cheesecake was picking on the cookies. The pie came over to break it up.

And said β€œHey! Why don’t you Pecan someone your own size!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Owens2k3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the Beaver break up with his gf?

Because he's in love with some otter girl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/President_Wayne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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Why did the man break up with his Eskimo girlfriend?

Eh, he just wasn't that Inuit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Catenane
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the piece of wood break up with the hammer?

Because he was nailing other boards.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
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Yesterday, as I brought in the dogs from a potty break in our Minnesota backyard before we went to the grocery store, my wife asked me to reminder her to pick up some frozen peas. I told her..

..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the mustard begin her break up letter to her husband?

"Dijon...."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/azureal
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
🚨︎ report
How did the Italian chef break up with his girlfriend?

"Pasta la vista, baby."

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the house break up with the chimney?

Because he smokes too much!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikkmitchell
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2015
🚨︎ report
[At the restaurant] Her: I want to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Me: Ok, and for the main course?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.

The changing sea son.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doogdoogdoog123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?

He started losing interest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Something_Syck
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2015
🚨︎ report
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me.

I thought, well that's a little condescending.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiner_bock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2016
🚨︎ report

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