Why did the girl break up with a guy who paid for everything with ten dollar bills?
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︎ Mar 16 2021
Why did the ice cream sundae break up?
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︎ Feb 26 2021
[At dinner] Her: I think we need to break up. For starters, Iβm sick of your awful jokes at the worst times.
Me: Ok, and for the main course?
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︎ Dec 18 2020
why did the magician's girlfriend break up with him?
Cause he never revealed any of his secrets.
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︎ Feb 20 2021
Why did the fish break up with his shrimp gf?
He just thought she was a little shellfish.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
Why did The Rock break up with his girlfriend?
Because she took him for granite.
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︎ May 25 2020
Why did she break up with the staunch republican?
Because he had to be always right.
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Why did the blouse break up with the t-shirt?
Because he didnβt collar.
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︎ Jul 25 2020
Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?
He was taken for granite.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:
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︎ Apr 25 2017
There is a punk-metal band called Pangea what is it called when the band breaks up?
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︎ May 05 2020
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
They had no chemistry π₯Ί
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︎ Dec 16 2019
My coworker keeps yelling about the tray of leftovers in the staff fridge stinking up the break room...
I finally snapped and told him to just put a lid on it
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︎ Jan 29 2020
Why did the stars who had been together forever finally decide to break up?
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︎ Dec 06 2019
Why did the dust pan break up with the broom?
Because it was sweeping around
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︎ Oct 14 2019
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
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︎ Nov 04 2019
Q: Why did the lion break up with his girlfriend?
A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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︎ Dec 05 2019
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
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︎ Jul 05 2019
Why did the garden tools break up?
Because the rake couldnt handle that his girlfriend was a hoe.
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︎ May 08 2019
The worst part about driving a beat up old car is worrying that it could break at any time.
Or worse, that it might not.
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︎ Oct 15 2019
Why did the boy telephone and the girl telephone break up?
There was just no connection...
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︎ Sep 12 2019
My girlfriend threatened to break up with me because of my obsession over the Monkees. I thought she was kidding...
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︎ May 02 2019
Why did the male giraffe break up with his girlfriend?
Because she was a cheetah.
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︎ Feb 12 2019
I was just racking up my first game of pool when the opponent said, "Do you wanna break?"
I said, "Not yet, we've only just started"
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︎ Jul 24 2019
What did the banker break up with his girlfriend after she demanded that he forgive her loan?...
He lost interest
Edit: *Why
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︎ Jun 04 2019
Why did the spider break up with her partner?
She found a string that wasn't hers.
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︎ Apr 05 2019
There was a prison break and saw a midget climb up the fence and give me a nasty look
And I thought to myself βthat was a little condescendingβ
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︎ Jan 03 2019
Why did the Spice Girls break up?
They couldn't find any Cumin, Ground.
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︎ Feb 17 2019
Why did the girl ghost break up with her boyfriend?
He kept booooooootycalling her.
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︎ Feb 16 2019
The cheesecake was picking on the cookies. The pie came over to break it up.
And said βHey! Why donβt you Pecan someone your own size!β
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︎ Nov 23 2018
Why did the Beaver break up with his gf?
Because he's in love with some otter girl
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︎ Sep 27 2017
Why did the man break up with his Eskimo girlfriend?
Eh, he just wasn't that Inuit.
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︎ Jun 01 2017
Why did the piece of wood break up with the hammer?
Because he was nailing other boards.
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︎ Apr 14 2018
Yesterday, as I brought in the dogs from a potty break in our Minnesota backyard before we went to the grocery store, my wife asked me to reminder her to pick up some frozen peas. I told her..
..."The backyard is full of them, we don't need any more!"
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︎ Feb 18 2018
How did the mustard begin her break up letter to her husband?
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︎ Dec 25 2015
How did the Italian chef break up with his girlfriend?
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︎ Jun 30 2015
Why did the house break up with the chimney?
Because he smokes too much!
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︎ Mar 28 2015
[At the restaurant] Her: I want to break up. For starters, Iβm sick of your terrible jokes.
Me: Ok, and for the main course?
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︎ Oct 10 2020
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
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︎ Sep 26 2019
Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend?
He started losing interest
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︎ May 30 2015
There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down, he sneered at me.
I thought, well that's a little condescending.
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︎ Nov 19 2016
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