Whenever he was good, his dad gave him 10p and a pat on the head. By the time he was sixteen, he had £786 and a flat head.
They always wanted a father figure.
Bye, son.
Rajer
A boy clock goes "tick tock, tick tock, tick tock" and a girl clock just tocks...and tocks...and tocks.
...because that's the center of a tent son.
Ciudad
on Sonday.
Dunno. But he probably learnt his lesson because Heinz sight is 20/20!
Nurse: “No change yet”
Put them in water. If one floats, it's (a) boyant.
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
A pic for anyone who wants to see it:
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/lum6ev/so_if_this_is_broken_would_it_now_be_a_cant_opener/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
Quack open a cold one
We named him Carson.
...and boys develop them around the age of forty…
I mist it.
1 2, 3?
Edit: read the numbers in Japanese
Because he had Ginger-vitis!
That father had the biggest smile on his face.. happy holidays everybody!
So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.
"What this, Ed?"
"A line?" the boy replied.
"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."
The father breaks his neck and dies, leaving his son to mourn for days. However, one night, the boy wakes up to see an apparition of his father before him. All at once, he breaks down crying, and screams out, "I'm sorry!"
His father responds, "Hi Sorry, I'm dead!"
It’s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways
It's one part rum, three parts pum.
(A favorite of mine from Tim Seidell)
He wanted to see a butter-fly!
He had his contacts
The Pillsbury Doughboy, remembered best as "Pop N Serve", and/or "Pop N Fresh", died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy will be buried in this lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities will turn out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.
The grave site is expected to be piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima will deliver the eulogy and lovingly describe Doughboy as "a man who never knew how much he was kneaded".
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop tart.
The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
One happened to put the letter T into a toy stacking cup I was holding. I tried to give it to him but he didn't want it.
So I turned to my other son and said, "Hmm, guess it's not his cup of T".
Neither 3yo got it so I had to tell someone.
He wanted to become a grater man
I told them, "You guys should take turns".
Me, to my two boys: "Hazel tried to escape, but I captured her."
Boy 1: (pronunciation) "cap- CHURR!"
Boy 2: "Or... You CAT-tured her!"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
I said "You Ken if you want to."
They are blowing up.
The boys father says straight away:- Ask your mum she puts everything away.
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…
Bison.
