22 Hilarious The Blow Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

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👤︎ u/AquamarineCheetah

📅︎ Dec 30 2020

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After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...

Long time fan, first time poster.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Nov 06 2020

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Everyone at my therapist’s office hates it when I stand on one corner of the room and blow air at people.

But I’m a big fan.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Aug 06 2020

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No way to cushion the blow

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👤︎ u/Classic_Result

📅︎ Jun 28 2020

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Why did the referee blow a whistle on a chicken?

Because it was a fowl

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👤︎ u/Elemental_Xenon

📅︎ Jul 23 2020

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Best mow and blow on the westside

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👤︎ u/Docfess

📅︎ Jun 02 2020

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How did the Gardener blow a whistle

He used his tulips

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👤︎ u/slashr7

📅︎ Apr 23 2020

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People usually say, “let’s blow this popsicle stand,” when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, “stick up their ass.”

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👤︎ u/ForestValkyrie

📅︎ Mar 23 2020

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I blow into a dog whistle every time I see the sun setting

It's always nice to end the day on a high note

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👤︎ u/Majike03

📅︎ Mar 06 2020

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I like to stand in the corner at parties and blow on anyone who walks by.

People hate it, but I’m a fan.

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👤︎ u/TooCoolToSocialize

📅︎ Sep 14 2019

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My boss warned me that I shouldn’t blow the whistle in the office anymore. He gave me one last chance.

But unfortunately, I blew it

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👤︎ u/varun_chakilam

📅︎ Oct 13 2019

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Did you hear the news? Some outlaws were running from the police, ducked into Farmer Johnson's barn and stashed their dynamite in his grain. One of his cattle got into the grain and ate the dynamite. They were afraid the poor fella was going to blow up.

I think that's abominable.

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👤︎ u/FreakyStarrbies

📅︎ Dec 23 2019

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Why did the vegetable hospital blow up?

Because someone dropped a sick beet

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👤︎ u/petsarenice

📅︎ Sep 12 2019

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Hopefully the comments don't blow up... imgur.com/x9JVVQK

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👤︎ u/kasabe

📅︎ Sep 15 2016

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Have you heard of the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

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👤︎ u/timotheonb

📅︎ Feb 01 2019

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Why did the President of the U.S. blow hot air up his dog's bum?

Because it's a Trump-pet

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👤︎ u/plankyy

📅︎ Apr 10 2019

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What do you call a guy who blows all his money on jackets at the advice of a psychic?

A seer-sucker.

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👤︎ u/stickmanofdoom

📅︎ Sep 05 2018

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I had to blow up my the tyres on my car the other day...

I came home afterwards "Done it?" he said.

Me - "Yeah, bit of a piss take though, cost me 50p just for some air."

"Well, that's inflation for you."

Good one, Dad.

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👤︎ u/ron_manager

📅︎ Sep 17 2013

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When the leaves are falling, the setting sun casts shadows across the hills, and a warm breeze blows, ain't that just...

...awetumn?

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👤︎ u/hypervelocityvomit

📅︎ Mar 28 2018

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My dad swooped in for the killing blow today

My mom said she was making Indian food tonight, including naan. I asked if she had all the "naan-essentials." She made an angry noise. "Sorry," I said, "was that a naan-sequitor?"

My dad happened to walk in just then. "Punish him!" my mom said to him.

"What? Why?"

"He keeps making puns!" My dad paused for a moment.

"Sounds like he's the one pun-ishing you."

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👤︎ u/WasabiofIP

📅︎ Jan 24 2015

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What did the vacuum say when the blow dryer took him to see a cheesy movie?

"This sucks."

What did the blow dryer say in retort?

"Blow me."

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👤︎ u/daveklok

📅︎ Nov 02 2014

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My uncle laid this one on his son's girlfriend while in a food coma, laying on a blow up mattress in the living room

Uncle: Hey K, did you know I once petitioned to change the name of Uranus?

K (the girlfriend): Oh really, what were you trying to change it to?

Uncle: Urrectum

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👤︎ u/funkpunk

📅︎ Nov 29 2013

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