Then I saw her face
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
Your buttcheeks
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
It's Trudeau.
All I did was take a day off
.....if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
Why else would we use Al-Gore-Rhythms?
that was an ice-olated incident.
Well I am.
I’ve been moving them around all day but they still say they are “Out of Order”
I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.
damn flat earthers
It's Trudeau
Seriously, how low can you go?
Makes you an eighth theist.
Gaviscon
Because he was in The Nile
Tu-Tu won one too.
After all, possession is 9/10ths of the law.
now i can't see Jack shit
But it was a real fortune smeller.
I grew up and stopped going to church
That's last time I buy off-brand tires...
I mean seriously, how low can you go?
It's not that hard!
I'm not hurt, but my pottery is ruined
I was like, “No whey!”
He said, "Why just the saints? There's like 31 other football teams."
HA! Got em.
I couldn't describe it butter myself
Now that's what I call a loco-motive.
I guess he just wasn't a very good conductor.
I told her to looked them up and showed her on the internet .
I said "Ha!... Chimp pants, see?".
Only time will tell
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
The Chinese don’t want to recognize Ty won.
But then someone told me it was trudeau.
Yup, it’s right there in Hebrews.
They're in pole position
...was an inside job.
But then I saw her face.
She said she found it annoying. At first I thought she was kidding.
But then I saw her face!
All I did was take a day off
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
All I did was take a day off!
I mean, how low can you go?
I'm an eighth theist
