I commissioned an artist to make me a set of letters of the alphabet out of cast iron.
I received A, B, C, D, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z.
I'm missing the iron E.
What can you say about a HIP-HOP ARTIST that performs the music of TODAY?
Santa Claus really likes him because he’s RAPPING the PRESENT.
(That joke was 2 punny)
I got consent from the artist to post this here. Source in cowments.
Which artist has the best ride service?
What did the prostitute tell the tattoo artist?
Did you hear about the artist who gave up on his uncompleted drawing after accidentally breaking his pencil?
Apparently, there was no point to continue drawing the picture
Did you hear about the two guys who were prosecuted for plagiarizing a 1920’s German artist’s work?
They went to jail because de stijl.
A tattoo artist has a guy come in and get a new mark on an expanding list of hash marks. After a few sessions the tattoo artist asks “What are you counting?”
And the guy says “how many tattoos I have now”
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision
I’ve been enjoying the work of some of my favorite graphic artists on my commute to work...
But for some reason, whenever I bring out MC Escher’s art, I get weird stairs.
What did the cowboy artist like to do?
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?
They forgot the punchline
My rooster is an artist. He draws on plates and I add arms and numbers, but for the life of me I can’t tell if he’s drawing snakes, mountains, teepee’s, etc., so I finally asked him and he said:
My friend the artist made sketches of people worshiping gods and idols...
He drew praise for his artwork.
We then asked a artist about the murder:
“I art to be feeling bad” they said
The artist said he wanted to paint me naked.
It made me uncomfortable. But I've got to say, he was rather endowed.
What made the artist so unethical?
Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?
He was taken for granite.
Who is the Australian Frankenstein's favourite music artist?
What did the artist say after finishing his huge picture sculptured of stone?
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini
I was going to get a tattoo in Madrid, but the tattoo artist I wanted to go to got in trouble for making some anti government tattoo art, which was quite a surprise
No one expects the Spanish ink sedition
What do you call the folds of an artist’s brain?
It's my dream to become the CEO of Subway, if for no other reason than to get rid of the horrible job title "Sandwich Artist."
I just feel like they need a more accurate job title, like Sub Humans.
Did you hear about the artist that turned into a gelatin dessert?
The local caricature artist also tells jokes while drawing people...
He makes good money for his sketch comedy show...
Have you heard the mischievous new artist MC Green Onion?
Also goes by the name 'Rapscallion'.
Did you hear the one about the stone mason who was married to a con artist?
She took him for granite.
What repeatable, documented procedure do artists use when formulating the perfect shade of blue?
Went to an artists wedding... There was the bride to be. The Groom to be. And heaps of pencils.
Why did the artist add sugar to his paint?
My mother told me that the only musicians more promiscuous than rock and roll artists were jazz musicians.
Because they were always having sax.
The artist formerly known as "water"
What did the police officer say when he caught the artist speeding in a Honda Odyssey?
Man you really make that Van Gogh!
Artist are some of the safest people, they know where to draw the line.
Do you know how the artist died while painting?
Why couldn't the trapeze artist complete a full somersaulting transfer in mid-air?
Because he didn't give a flying flip.
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first...
One of the greatest artists of the 20th century
Where do the most successful artists study?
What’s the difference between an artist’s folder and a castle of antivaxxers?
One is a portfolio and the other is Fort Polio
What do you call an artist who's always on the move?
My friend the artist told me he didn’t have any cyan, azure, cobalt, navy, royal, or sapphire paint.
That was completely out of the blue.
Do you know why the model that artists liked to draw got arrested?
Because he always looked sketchy
What did the cowboy artist like to do?
What did the artist say to his car?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
