I often read dad jokes here and think to myself, "That's not funny at all!" or "Come on man! Another repost!?" or "Boooooriiiiing!" And then...

I press 'Submit'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2022
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sheepdog to herder : okay that's all 40 sheep!

Herder : what? There's only supposed to be 37!

Sheepdog : I rounded them up.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2022
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A genie appeared and told me he'd grant one wish. I said, "Ha! That's easy! I wish to score 100% on all my tests!"

Next morning, I tested positive for Covid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nakuzin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2022
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I've just bought the wife a new coat that's all the colours of the spectrum.

Black, with grey rubber buttons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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That's all folks
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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We all know Bruce Lee is fast, but little did we know he has a brother that's uncertain

Approximate Lee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chizhi1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2021
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Why do British people hate saying the letter T? Cus’ thats what they are too busy drinking it all the time.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aquaticless
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2021
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What do you call a person with one eye that's sad all the time?

A sighclops.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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That's all. Enjoy your evening all.
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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That's all?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarlungs110466
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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Only two things make me forget about all the shit that's going on with my life. Comedy and......

Alzheimer's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aritra_001
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2021
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The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.

The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
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I just wanted to leave a few dad jokes if that's okay with all dads in this subreddit....

1.bI refused to believe my dad was fired as a road worker for theft

But when I got home, all the signs were there.

  1. Yesterday, I was fired from a keyboard factory

Apparently, I wasn't putting enough shifts.

  1. My friends bet me $50 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti

You should've seen the look on their face when I drove pasta.

  1. The price of a slice of an apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in Bahamas

These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

  1. "Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addicts group", a man said.

"Btw I have to say I'm very disappointed to see only a few new faces this week."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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Talking sheep dog: that's all 50 sheep!

Farmer: wait, we should only have 46!

Dog: yeah, I rounded em up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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Sheepdog: That's all 50 sheep Shepherd: What? We should have only 47

Sheepdog: I know, I rounded them up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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A cowboy comes to his boss his ranch and says 'thats all 50 cows boss'. The boss answers 'how did you get 50? I only got 48!'

The cowboy answers 'I know, I rounded them up.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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With all that's going on, I told my dad that finishing my degree in astrophysics may not be the kind of science the world needs right now.

He looked away from the TV long enough to say, "Black holes matter."

Sigh... "Yeah, Dad. They are."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lostehmost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Did you hear about the virus that's killing of all the furrys ?

It's called the cOWOnavirus .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BogdanAnime
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
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LPT: Want beer but are too young to buy it? Buy rootbeer and put it in a square glass. The square cancels out the root and all that's left is beer! reddit.com/r/ShittyLifePr…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kcir_semirg
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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What do you call a nearby roof that's been in the sun all day?

Hot shingles in your area.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodredrogue
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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I used to know a guy who was all about getting his waffle in the morning. That's all he'd talk about! He'd even take people's toast out of the toaster and put in his waffles.

He's such an Eggo-maniac

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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Last year, my wife was so angry that I forgot to buy her a Christmas present, but that's not happening this time, because I bought her present two months ago! It's all wrapped up, sitting under the tree, waiting for her on Christmas Day!!

She's going to love these flowers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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A comic series that's all puns smugcloud.tumblr.com/
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πŸ‘€︎ u/accursedCursive
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
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When people say that all rice is the same, that's a little bit

Rice-ist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
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What do you call a nut that's crazy all about education?

Macademia!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exoxe
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2018
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What do you call cheese that's all by itself?

Provolone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/c00lhwipluke
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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"I can't marry all three of your daughters at once, sir. That's bigamy!"

Father: "No that's big of me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
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A farmer decides to sell his home and shows a potential buyer around- "there's only 1 downside it's an old farm and all we have is an outhouse" the buyer says "oh, well thats fine- is there a lock?"

The farmer says "Sir, I've lived hear near on 60 years and all that time no one has ever tried to steal a bucket of shit"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/roadtrip-ne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2017
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All-you-can-eat nachos? Now that's a

Best Queso Scenario!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForeignServer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2017
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There's a new show on Broadway that's all about puns

It's pretty much a play on words

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
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I've just bought my wife a new coat, that's all the colours of the Spectrum.

Black, with grey rubber buttons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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There's a new show on Broadway that's all about puns

It's pretty much a play on words

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
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