My wife loves tennis, and she was telling me how distracted she gets at the constant grunting during women’s matches.

I told her I’ll try not doing it again.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
a love letter a tennis player wrote me
πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/queengemini
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Love means nothing to a tennis player.
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soloduchaalex
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to break up with my tennis-playing girlfriend

Love meant nothing to her.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/milkchaser
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Anette

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rockwood7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.

πŸ‘︎ 869
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gt0t
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A sweet old man who stops by to chat when he goes out for a walk told us this joke. (His wife had said "Don't tell anyone your silly joke... It's horrible.")

Old Man : "Never fall in love with a tennis professional."

Us : "Why Not?"

Old Man : "Because love means nothing to them."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2015
🚨︎ report
I visited a tennis equipment factory. The noise there was unbearable

They make a racket.

(Please no hate. Tennis jokes need love)

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiVShenoy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter was telling me about her new boyfriend

Me: "What's his job."

Her: "He's a professional tennis player"

Me: "You should really break up with him now then."

Her: "Why is that?"

Me: "Because all tennis players think love means nothing."

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghirsch123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my girlfriend

We were at a bar getting food and there was a tennis game playing on tv.

Girlfriend: I wonder if Djokovic is single

Me: Probably not. I mean, to him, love means nothing.

Girlfriend: Wow that is such an old joke.

Me: I guess I'm not a good Jokervic.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeonNytrox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
🚨︎ report
Tennis dad joke that I finally understand

I go out and play tennis with my dad once a week. Tennis scoring goes love, 15, 30, 40. Every time he says the score at the beginning of a game he yells, "Hippies!" instead of "Love all." And I just now understood it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedoctorpotter
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
🚨︎ report
Whenever I wear leggings,

my dad mocks me by saying, "I loves my new stretch pants. But when I farts, I blows my tennis shoes off."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/netfilx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Waiter told me this one last night...

What do you call endless love?

Louis Armstrong and Miles Davis playing tennis.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
🚨︎ report
Never date a tennis player

Love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wavepoolsquad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the tennis player want a wife?

Because love means nothing to him.

πŸ‘︎ 439
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pauls2theWall
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you never marry a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad said "I should never date a tennis player..."

As love means nothing to them

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2015
🚨︎ report
My dad woke me up with this heartwarming text (We play tennis competitively)

Dad: "Heard a nice song that reminded me of you. Love you. Be Safe!"

Me: "Love you dad :)"

Dad: "Name of the song you ask? Tennis beat down. No not really."

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/seewhatyadidthere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
🚨︎ report

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