Teddy Higuera Puns

That’s all, just thought it was interesting

I made all time teams for all 30 squads, and put them into seeds to make a “March madness” style bracket.

Rules:

Round one last 48 hours, rounds 2-finish will be 24 hours

Each player can only be used once. This made it extremely tough to pick teams for guys who were great on multiple teams

I will comment the matchups, upvote the team you think would win

Each team has a DH, as it makes the matchups easier to evaluate

All teams are on 3 man rotations

The matchups are based on the seeds I made, I’ll say what my rankings are after the bracket is done

Round 1:

Byes (1 and 2 seed, so the round 2 is 16 teams): Yankees and Cards

Matchups:

Giants vs Rays

Giants-

1. Cf- Willie Mays

2. Rf- Mel Ott

3. DH- Barry Bonds

4. 1b- Willie Mccovey

5. Lf- Bobby Bonds

6. 2b- Jeff Kent

7. C- Buster Posey

8. 3b- Matt Williams

9. Ss- Travis Jackson

P- Christy Matthewson

Rays-

1. LF- Carl Crawford

2. 2b- Ben Zobrist

3. 1b- Carlos Pena

4. 3b- Evan Longoria

5. RF- BJ (Melvin) Upton

6. DH- Corey Dickerson

7. SS- Julio Lugo

8. C- Jon Jaso

9. CF- Kevin Kiermier

P. David Price

Red Sox vs Royals

1. CF- tris speaker

2. SS- Nomar Garciaparra

3. DH- Ted Williams

4. 1b- David Ortiz

5. RF- Carl Yastrzemski

6. LF- Jim Rice

7. 3b- Wade Boggs

8. C- Carlton Fisk

9. 2b- Dustin Pedroia

P- Cy Young

Royals-

1. CF- Willie Wilson

2. RF- Amos Otis

3. 3b- George Brett

4. 1b- John Mayberry

5. DH- Mike Sweeney

6. LF- Hal Mcrae

7. C- Salvador Perez

8. 2b- Frank White

9. SS- Alcides Escobar

P- Brett Saberhagen

Cubs vs Blue Jays

Cubs-

1. 2b- Ryne Sandberg

2. LF- Billy Williams

3. CF- Hack Wilson

4. SS- Ernie Banks

5. Rf- Sammy Sosa

6. 1b- Cap Anson

7. 3b- Ron Santo

8. DH- Derek Lee

9. C- Gabby Hartnet

P- Fergie Jenkins

Blue Jays

1. 2b- Roberto Alomar

2. SS- Tony Fernandez

3. DH- Carlos Delgado

4. 1b- Fred Mcgriff

5. RF- Jose Bautista

6. 3b- Josh Donaldson

7. LF- George Bell

8. CF- Vernon Wells

9. C- Russell Martin

P- Roy Halliday

Reds vs Diamondbacks

Diamond backs-

1. Cf- Steve Finley

2. 2b- Ketel Marte

3. 1b- Paul Goldschmidt

4. LF- Luis Gonzalez

5. DH- Justin Upton

6. RF- AJ Pollock

7. 3b- Mark Reynolds

8. C- Miguel Montero

9. SS- Stephen Drew

P- Randy Johnson

Reds

1. 2b- Joe Morgan

2. DH- Pete Rose

3. LF- George Foster

4. C- Johnny Bench

5. 1b- Joey Votto

6. SS- Barry Larkin

7. 3b- Tony Perez

8. RF- Vada Pinson

9. Cf- Eric Davis

P- Jose Rijo

A’s vs Padres

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

I won't be doing that today!

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

There hasn't been a post all year!

You take away their little brooms

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved