I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Shipping should work out to around 6$ for most USA locations, flat rate to Canada (around 8$)
Condition is Record/ Jacket, EX=excellent (a touch under near mint, maybe a few light creases/hairlines, plays flawlessly) Happy to answer any inquiries or send pictures, just send me a message.
New Records
Ashnikko – Demidevil (2021 USA, Limited Edition UO exclusive ***Light Blue Vinyl***, Parlophone 0190295193218) Sealed (part of seal came off on front jacket): 25$
Brian Setzer – Setzer Goes Instru-Mental! (2021, Splatter on 180g, Surfdog Records SD2332911) Sealed: 30$
Grade – Separate The Magnets (2014 USA, Limited to 500 on Grey Marble Vinyl, 12” 45 RPM, Dine Alone Records DAV075) Comes with regular plastic sleeve with hype sticker, never played: 18$
The Guess Who – American Woman (2020 Canada, Limited Edition 50th Anniversary, Blue Vinyl, 180g Gatefold, RCA Victor LSP-4266) Sealed: 30$
Green Jellÿ – Garbage Band Kids (2021 USA, Limited Edition Pink Opaque Vinyl, Cleopatra CLO2240) Sealed: 30$
King Tubby – King At The Control (2017 USA, Tad's Record) Sealed: 27$
Our Lady Peace – Happiness... Is Not A Fish That You Can Catch (2020 Canada, Limited Edition Smoke Coloured Vinyl 180g, Columbia 88985445601) Sealed: 32$
Various – The Hurricane (Music from And Inspired By The Motion Picture) (2019 UK, Limited Edition Numbered /1000, Red Vinyl, Music On Vinyl At The Movies MOVATM194) Sealed: 30$
Rock
OBI The Alarm – Spirit Of '76 (1986 Japan, Mini Album, I.R.S. Records 20AP3190) Complete with OBI & Insert NM/VG+: 25$
B.B. King – The Best Of B.B. King (1973 USA, Quadraphonic, ABC Records ABCX-767) VG+/G+: 10$
Bruce Springsteen – Dancing In The Dark (1984 USA, 12” Pitman Pressing, Columbia 44 05028) EX/VG+:10$
The Cars – Heartbeat City (1984, Gatefold, Elektra 96 02961) VG+/NM: 8$
Deep Purple – Deep Purple (1969 Germany, Gatefold, Harvest 1C 062-90 505) VG/G+: 10$
Deep Purple – Deep Purple In Rock (2016 USA, 180g Gatefold, Rhino Records R1 1877) NM/NM: 38$
Grand Funk Railroad – Caught In The Act (1975, 2x LP, Capitol Records SABB-11445) VG+/VG: 15$
The Guess Who – '87 (1987, EP 45 RPM, Guess Who Records GW 87) EX/VG+: 35$
The Guess Who – Super Golden Goodies (1975, Birchmount BM 568) VG+/VG: 8$
Iron Maiden – The Number Of The Beast (2014 Europe, 180g, Pa
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Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
And boy are my arms legs.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
[Removed]
There hasn't been a post all year!
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
And then shook his arm really fast.
(True story, please groan with me.)
