People say I don’t make a lot of money
But their arguments don’t make cents either.
Why shouldn’t you ever ask Yoda for money?
He’s always a little short.
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” Puzzled, the teller asks, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber yells, “Don’t change the subject!"
I need someone to repair the stone wall in the front of my house, but I don’t have a lot of money.
Incidentally, Free Masons are not what they sound like.
Don’t waste your money on store bought itch relief cream.
The best itch relief is made from scratch.
My car battery died and I didn’t have enough money for a new one.
I have to change my roof but don’t have any money
Thankfully, the contractor said it’ll be on the house
They say money doesn’t grow on trees
Obviously they haven’t seen the price of plywood recently
Wife: "Whenever I keep money in my purse, our son steals it! I don’t know what to do?"
Me: "Hide it in his books. I know he will never touch them."
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
My friend bet me money that I couldn’t name a Great Lake.
A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didn’t work well. The preacher told him:
Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.
I don’t like the government taking all my money. It’s taxing
Money can’t buy happiness
My son borrows money from me every week, so I told him, “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.”
He said, “Oh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.”
I don’t understand why my wife spends so much money on shampoo...
I suspect my maid is stealing money from my drawer, but she won’t admit to it.
I just want her to come clean.
I didn’t have much money to buy a new costume so I cut off 40% of my boobs.
I gave $1 for a 50 cent candy and didn’t get any money back.
Some people never change.
I really can’t stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me.
Do they really have to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than I do?
My dad kept talking and babbling about making money and it didn’t understand.
While he was talking, I finally said angrily “You don’t make any cents!”
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, “Give me all your money or you’re geography!” The teller replies, “Don’t you mean history?”
The robber says, “Don’t change the subject!"
If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
They say money doesn’t grow on trees.
So why do banks have so many branches?!
If money doesn’t grow on trees...
...then why do banks have branches?
A friend of mine is constantly borrowing money. I said to him, “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.”
He said, “Oh please...you really should give me a bit more credit.”
If money doesn’t grow on trees...
Then why do banks have branches?
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