Super Jump Puns

One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.

He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.

He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.

"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.

"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."

"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"

"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.

"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"

"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".

"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"

"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"

"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.

"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.

He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.

"I'll have one holiday please!"

"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.

"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.

"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"

"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"

"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.

"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"

"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"

The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -

You won't believe what happened today!! I was trimming the bushes, "doing my thang" when a little space ship flew right over OUR house. I was trying to get a good look at it but the lights were so bright I couldn't look at it without hurting my eyes. Suddenly, I heard a loud "whooosh" and standing in front of me was AN ALIEN!! Let me tell you this alien was bad…..assss. Looked super strong and super tough and I knew I had my hedge clippers to fight with but I said to myself, "I don't know this alien looks like a pretty rough customer"  All of a sudden though, the neighbors, the Vartiks, come rushing out and Mrs Vartik says, "Mr Craig stand back!!" Mr Vartik jumps up in the air and his body transforms like a Transformer or one of those Voltrons I was telling you about. Mrs Vartik twists into a giant leg. Mr Vartik is the torso and connects to his wife, the leg. Paige, his daughter who goes to Dowse High with Aidan, turns into an arm with a built in laser cannon. Dmitri, his son turns in the left arm, holding this shape shifting shield. Angelo, the dog with a frisbee in his mouth jumps up and forms into an assault leg with 360 degree swivel action boom he locks into place. So I'm like "where's the head"? That's when the stroller, with baby Greg inside, pogo sticks up over the rest of the body and becomes this "cooler than Master Chief in Halo or Captain John Price in CoD" looking warrior head. Immediately, this Super Fighter starts going head to head with this alien, and the alien is tough but this Super Fighter just does some crazy stuff and is shooting lasers and launching missiles and boom doing UFC kicks and he kicks this alien's butt. The alien jumps back in his ship and tries to get away but the Super Fighter reaches into it's leg and pulls out Angelo's frisbee and throws it so hard at the alien spaceship as it's flying away that it looks like a fireball and it hits the alien ship and it blows up. So I look at the Super Fighter made out of our neighbors and it's awkward, I don't know what to say. So I look up at the baby Greg head and say, "who are you? what are you?" And it says; "I'm..... a 𝘍𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺𝘮𝘢𝘯!'