Super G Puns

It's OK though as my injuries are only super fish oil.

I walked into a substance abuse clinic for my second meeting yesterday. The doctor knew I had a severe crush on women super heros...today he told me the news.

"Sir I'm afraid it's dire, you need to be checked in immediately for your heroine addiction"

Super hot. We made plans to lift at the gym. She didn't show. That's when I knew we wouldn't work out.

Chips.

Happy Super bowl everyone!

Super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis

It was a super bowl!

Super Smash Bros.

You know I would raise these super cute fluffy bunnies!

People would always ask me how it was: was it relaxing, fun, nice, a bore etc...?

I would always respond that it was honestly terrifying, like really scary.

People in bewilderment would always say: "what? scary? how can that be??"

I would respond: "well, it was hare raising"

So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist. My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking. I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.

I am a bit proud of what I achieved today. I promise that this is spontaneous to me, even though I might have heard the word somewhere else.

So my older children are up and waiting for breakfast, and they started talking about a game variety of Parkour, and the word “legendary” is being thrown around casually. So I ask them if they know what legendary means, and my son says, after a minute of thinking, that it means very amazing. I answered, “No, legendary means super famous milk.” Took them half a minute to figure out and I got the biggest groans ever!

Regular workers must wear small face shields, while Managers get to use the super-visors.

just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud

"Ten tickles."

I'm so proud to bring you this super high quality dad joke.

He hoped to receive super strength, but it was just naan-sense.

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis (edited, thanks kind friends for the correction!)

Because it's super natural

It's super catchy.

I was a super spreader.

Gandhi, by the time he died, he was a very thin and elderly man who had walked almost everywhere he went barefoot causing thick pads on the bottom of his feet. He was also an extremely wise man who many considered a seer, and he ate ethnic Indian cuisine causing bad breath........Turns out he was a super fragile calloused mystic hexed by halitosis.

That is, at least not long enough to learn any of the many, many important things a frog needs to learn in order to be a frog.

You see, a frog needs to be super slick in order to get by. A frog without proper skills, well, he may as well be a toad.

Anyways, every time Mama Frog went about trying to teach Little Hop something, he would just bounce.. and bounce.. and bounce..

And every time Mama Frog had reached her limit of patience, right before giving up, she’d say to Little Hop, “If you keep on keepin’ on hoppin around all aimless, I’m gonna turn you into a toad!”

Which, upon hearing, Little Hop would stop his hop and settle. You see, he knew well enough that he wanted no part of being a toad.

Well, on one particular day, during one such lesson, Little Hop had taken again to bouncing here, and bouncing there - and just about everywhere besides a place he could listen! And on this same particular day, Mama Frog’s patience was worn real, real, thin, you see, and she got sudden filled with a terrible frustration.

And just like a firecracker went off, in a sudden snap, Mama Frog turned Little Hop straight into a toad!

And when it was done, Mama Frog looked at him direct, shook her head, and said..

“I toad you so.”

On average, this guy walked 11+ miles per day for 40 years. WITHOUT SHOES.

Dude fasted frequently, too, so he didn't get a lot of the nutrients that most people get on a daily basis and presumably had bad breath.

That being said, Gandhi was...

A SUPER CALLOUSED FRAGILE MYSTIC HEXED WITH HALITOSIS.

I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that Gandhi was a super fragile, calloused mystic suffering from halitosis.

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

...on one hand, you wear a super cool ring, on the other hand, you don’t

Fireball is bad diplomacy, it just inflames the situation.

Just one example from my second ever video, 50 D&D puns! I am super new and super small, so every view is valuable to me!

She rolled her eyes and said "Booberry Wheats, obviously"

I said "No, it's..." and then in a super spooky ghost voice "... WeeeeEEEEeeeetabix"

She laughed so hard she choked on her food.

She was giving my niece (3) and nephew (6) a bath. When they were done, the kids used their towels as capes and were running around naked yelling 'we are super heroes!!' My sister responded with, 'I don't think think there are any naked superheroes... Except maybe The Flash.'

He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in

Hey, do you know where the farm is?

Just around the CORNer.

Super proud.

Yes, we live in Ohio. All the farms here are corn.

A super hearo

Colorado.

(My 8 year old just made it up)

Edit: Thank you for the gilding, she's super happy about this all. You folks are too kind.

Super Mario, brother.

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil

Luckily, my wounds were only super fish oil

Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries

Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."

Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!

This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: I do now realize I misspelled Gandhi. I cannot edit the title, just know that I see it and am sorry.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I have super fish oil injuries.

This made him, A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Edit: Wow! Didn't expect this big reaction! Thanks for the silver! Edit 2: And gold!? Thanks again! :)