Collared greens.
But no pun intended
“A” likened sub-scribe
please kill me
The BDSM subreddit.
[Deleted]
They say: "I'm inthane? No urethane!"
The fundamental nature of being a dad:
http://www.threepanelsoul.com/comics/2015-02-23-359.png
http://imgur.com/frPfRRx
May tag. You are it.
Am a dad but never had an original thought before this so here's my first submission.
No Franks
EDIT: Wow! Thanks guys! One thousand up-votes is crazy for my first submission on reddit. My dad told me this joke while we were grocery shopping.
Because he’s a friggin idiot who thinks he has enough degrees.
(Text repost of my submission to r/memes. Y’all ain’t my side chick, tho.)
Because Submission impossible
So my dad is usually really quiet and "submissive" right? Like he doesn't do a lot of loud things except find the distance the chicken had to travel to cross the road in a bad dad joke.
Anyway, whenever one of us(a 6 people family) comments about something in a small group of 1-3 people, he's always got all the information. He just... knows. For example(this happened like 10 minutes ago): Me: "Wow, this tea is pretty sweet today." Mom: "well, did you sweeten it?" Me: "I d-" My dad shakes his head. Dad: "No, the person who made the tea added double the amount of sugar you previously added to the jug." Mom: "Who?" And then he points to the bedroom before I can tell my mom who made my glass of tea.
Recently, we had a hostile power takeover. A new mod got power hungry and went on a nice little editing spree.
Pics of carnage: Here
He/she has been banned from the subreddit, and submissions are back to normal.
I somehow ended up as the lackey here, and I've never been a subreddit mod before, so bear with me. I've put things back to their defaults, so submissions can resume normally.
##Tl;dr guy goes on power trip, he's gone, things back to normal, I have no clue what I'm doing.
The sub-mission submission was excellent!
He sorts the submissions by "knew"
The trial has been going on for over 12 days now and we thought you guys should know what we are doing. After reading your comments and messages it looks like you guys like the sub as a self-posts only sub, so the mods have decided, after throughly discussing it, that it is a good idea to remain this way for the foreseeable future.
If you guys have any more suggestions to improve your dadjoking experience, let us know in the comments or send the mods a message.
Need some ideas for a Pun based name for the Skin and Laser Clinic i am looking to start. Professional and funny submissions are all welcome. You never know ;)
But don't worry, our garage isn't for sale. The house has grown pretty attached to it.
We've done a bunch of these lists on my podcast Shoddy Radio in the past including "Cars and Stars" (Steve Mitsubuscemi, Jean Claude Grand Am), "Groups and Poops" (Stool, The Brown Stripes), and "Chicks and Dicks" (Sigourney Wiener, Dickey Lake). Anyway, I thought some folks here might appreciate these and want to throw in some ideas. So far for our next list "Criminal Acts & Delectable Snacks" we've got Bacon and Entering, First Degree Burger, Child CornDography, Statutory Crepes and a few others I can't remember right now. Any submissions?
I liked this sub a lot more when there was less traffic and mostly just text submissions. Now half of what I see is just shitty facebook screens shots that are almost guaranteed to be fake and aren't even considered a 'dad joke'.
Anyone else notice how this sub has exploded over the past 2 or 3 months?
"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for the use of words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless." A competition to see who can come up with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location. This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
Here goes...
.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
.. The batteries were given out free of charge.
.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
.. A will is a dead giveaway.
.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
.. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
.. Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
.. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.
.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
And the cream of the twisted crop:
.. Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
He had the best submission.
Hi,
I really like this subreddit, but a little too often, I see submissions of corny jokes that are spun as dad jokes. While these stories are humorous, I'm uncertain if this should be the place for them. Perhaps theres a better subreddit out there? I've done a little bit of research, and I haven't found anything too specific, but I'm curious to see what others think. There obviously isn't any strict rules to this subreddit, but I feel like some of the magic is gone when dad jokes are not told by dads. Thoughts?
Almost every day the top posts use a title similar to "Dadjoked so-and-so" or "I got dadjoked". These are pretty crappy titles.
A lot of times a dad-joke is so short, punny, and sweet that a more descriptive title is impossible; but there are clearly better titles for most of the submissions.
