I had a coworker ask "How many burgers does a cow make?"

I look him dead in the eyes and reply, stonefaced

"None. Thier hooves can't form patties."

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📅︎ Oct 25 2020
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My pregnant wife was intentionally irritating me while I was taking a shower...

I said, "Can I please just shower in peace?"

She replied, "I have a bag in the freezer if you want some."

I stonefaced her but it brought a tear to me eye, she's gonna be such a good dad. ^(Explanation ^since ^I ^know ^someone ^will ^ask: ^peace ^sounds ^like ^peas)

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👤︎ u/WrexKwonDo
📅︎ Feb 06 2017
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