Steel Metal Puns

It was riveting.

But thi silvery from one post to the next.

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the backdoor

No-eye deer

They are alloys.

Irony

Edit: Quality puns in here folks, keep it up! Make your dads proud!

When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.

She said, "I can't believe steel is not a metal. My life is ruined. It's all a lie."

I replied, " you mean, it's all alloy."

She is still not speaking to me.

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

• Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
• It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
• What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
• Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
• Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
• Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
• If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
• Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
• Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
• American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
• The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
• Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
• Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
• Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
• Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
• Rittal me this, Batman!
• Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
• Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
• If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
• When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
• You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
• Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
• Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
• Don't think Seton is

I had some new employees helping me sort scrap metal.

me: Quit steeling my aluminum!

Employe: No, It's all right here. (points to al bin)

I pull the steel out and show them.

Edit:spelling.

Bought a new house and was discussing getting an ironing board with my girlfriend. I work with in metal fabrication and she suggested I make one. I happen to work with steel, so naturally i asked if it would then be called steeling...

many head-shakes ensued.

He was asking my mom and i if he should go to an eye doctor or a normal doctor because he has something in his eye and he cant get it out.

My mom asked him whats in his eye.

He said "a piece of steel"

I said "you need to go in because my metals teacher had that and it rusted in his eye and he couldnt get it out himself"

He said "so will it be in my eye for the rust of my life?"

Then i laughed so hard i had tears in my eyes.