Stay Up Puns

I’m getting Spring Fever.

Because it’s pasture bedtime.

It's more revved up

Her joke: “I’m going to turn 9 on Wednesday. It’s going to be quite a birthday”

Hi going to turn 9 on Wednesday. It’s going to be quite a birthday. I’m Dad.

It was two-tyred

Sugarcane

Noc-turtle

And then it dawned on me.

Swarm

Off to a bed start.

So he asked me to come tuck him in...

I asked "Why, are you sticking out?"

...I could stay up until midnight with my eyes closed.

Then it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me

It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.

People will be lined up for blocks.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician

But you know what they say hindsight is 2020.

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a doG!

Then it dawned on me.

Happy Father’s Day

It's pastor bed time

She Satired

It's a bad hobbit.

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

Then it dawned on me

And then it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me

And then it dawned on me.

Then, it dawned on me.

And then it dawned on me.

then it dawned on me

finally it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me

And then it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me.

Then....... it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me.

And then it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me

...then it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me

then it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me.

Until it dawned on me.

Then it dawned on me 🤪 👕 👖 👟

Then it dawned on me

Then it dawned on me