20 Hilarious States Of The United States Puns

What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?

Okay, Biden.

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👤︎ u/iwishidie

📅︎ Mar 29 2021

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What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?

Tanks for that.

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👤︎ u/Kielbasa_Crotch_Kid

📅︎ Dec 08 2020

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News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...

To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.

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👤︎ u/thejohnblog

📅︎ Aug 03 2020

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TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...

The were The Ruff Riders.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Jul 01 2020

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What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?

Ay bring ham, Lincoln.

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👤︎ u/Keepscrollin-u

📅︎ Feb 18 2020

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Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.

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👤︎ u/dudemanandnewman

📅︎ Dec 07 2017

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My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...

It was a pinto.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Jun 09 2020

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I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...

There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Jan 19 2020

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We need to add three more states to the United States of America

53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.

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👤︎ u/BradC

📅︎ May 18 2017

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My office space is a cubicle, president of the United States has an oval.

Someone has been cutting corners.

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👤︎ u/Lum1nar

📅︎ Jul 31 2018

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If the United States annexed all of Canada and multiplied it’s area by two, what would you get?

WSA

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👤︎ u/shortordercook

📅︎ Dec 06 2019

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Last week, a freshman secret service officer stopped an assassination attempt on the president of the United States by screaming “Mickey Mouse”!

When his superior congratulated him for the arrest, he asked “Why did you scream Mickey Mouse?” And the secret serviceman said “I was trying to say Donald Duck!”

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👤︎ u/GPyleFan11

📅︎ Mar 11 2019

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Which branch of military is the most patriotic in the United States?

The Air Force, because they're US AF.

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👤︎ u/Noir_Reaper

📅︎ Dec 29 2018

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what do you call an air conditioning unit in the capital of the united states?

ACDC

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👤︎ u/Shredhead15

📅︎ Mar 15 2019

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If someone ever throws something at the President of the United States during an important press conference with other world leaders, what should you scream?

DONALD DUCK!!!

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👤︎ u/relax-and-enjoy-life

📅︎ Nov 24 2018

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I was throwing darts at a map of the continental united states when I...

Mich'd, again!

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👤︎ u/minegam

📅︎ Jun 17 2018

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The first president of the United States had to deal with a lot of laundry.

He was washing ton of it.

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👤︎ u/23farendheight

📅︎ Aug 28 2017

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Got Dad joked in front of the Surgeon General of the United States today

So I'm at the promotion ceremony of my girlfriend's Dad today. He's being promoted to Assistant Surgeon General so it's a pretty big deal. He's giving his speech and he's acknowledging all the people who are in his life and have come today to celebrate with him. He says this with Surgeon General Murthy sitting behind him, "there are also two of my daughters boyfriends here with me, Mr other daughter's boyfriend, and Mr. Jack The_Baboons_Ass. Let me tell you something about the Mr. The_Baboons_Ass, if you don't know him, you don't know Jack." The Surgeon General looks on not knowing what too think while I'm cracking up. The Surgeon General then comes up to me after the ceremony and introduces himself, saying "Nice to meet you Jack, I guess I do know Jack now" and walks away

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👤︎ u/The_baboons_ass

📅︎ Jan 16 2015

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What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?

Ay, bring ham, Lincoln

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👤︎ u/Mush_Tilly

📅︎ Feb 20 2020

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Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?

The Air Force; they're US AF

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👤︎ u/Smithmonkey98

📅︎ Dec 29 2018

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