Square Toed Puns

So Patel tried to go to the lowest level and put a dot on the paper.

"What this, Ed?"

"A line?" the boy replied.

"I... I expected more from you. I'm... This a point, Ed."

She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”

She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.

Proud dad moment.

It becomes an erectangle

Son: “Wow really? Can I come too?”

Dad: “Four shore!”

The other responded "Four shore!"

Because you are supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

His doctor told him to get three square meals a day.

It was a real bumpy ride.

I need my hip to be square.

Because they are not well rounded

But when it comes to two unconnected vertices, that’s where I draw the line.

The workplace was a No-Fly Zone.

That’s Cole’s Law.

Dad: Easy! Next time, just tell your teacher I Don’t Give Two Shits.

It was a check up.

But I don’t want to square you

The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.

I shouldn't have cut corners.

I guess I’m just too square to try angle.

4

The rent is pretty expensive but that's mostly due to inflation.

1. Why was the fraction apprehensive about marrying the decimal? Because he would have to convert.

2. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots.

3. Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average? It was a mean thing to say!

4. Why was the math book depressed? It had a lot of problems.

5. Why is the obtuse triangle always so frustrated? Because it is never right.

6. Why can you never trust a math teacher holding graphing paper? He must be plotting something.

7. Why was the equal sign so humble? Because she knew she wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.

8. What do you call the number 7 and the number 3 when they go out on a date? The odd couple

9. What do you call a number that can’t stay in one place? A Roamin’ numeral.

10. Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably.

11. What do you call dudes who love math? Algebros.

12. I’ll do algebra, I’ll do trig. I’ll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!

13. Why should you never talk to Pi? Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.

14. Why are parallel lines so tragic if they have so much in common? It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

15. Are monsters good at math? Not unless you Count Dracula.

16. What’s the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Use acute angle.

17. Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers? They’d stop at nothing to avoid them.

18. How do you stay warm in any room? Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.

19. Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight ("ate") nine!

20. Why DID seven eat nine? Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

21. Why does nobody talk to circles? Because there is no point.

I guess it's back to square won.

I thought that was pretty radical.

"Once around the block please."

I said it was Oaktimus Pine...

We don’t square roots here, we juice oranges. Get back to work!

Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "

Bartender comes over to get our drinks, we're both interested in hydrating to start off with and we order waters.

Bartender asks if we want ice water or just water.

We both say we'd like ice in our water.

So then I say, "well, you could say it's ice water squared."

My buddy then lowers his head and says, "Bro, they come cubed..."

Two clowns were watching the late evening news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump. The station then cut to a commercial.

The first clown said, “I bet you $20 he’s going to jump.”

The second clown replied  “Okay, it’s a bet!”

(Back to newscast.) The man jumped.

The second clown, being a good sport, pulled out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to the other clown. “Okay. Here’s my $20.”

However, the first clown refused, saying “No, I can’t take it.”

The second clown replied, “I insist. I lost the bet fair and square.”

The first clown said, “I have a confession to make. I saw the same thing on the 6:00 news and knew he jumped. So it wasn’t really a fair bet.”

But the second clown replied, “I know. I saw the same newscast. But I didn’t think he would be stupid enough to jump twice!”

http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/betting-on-the-man-jumping-off-a-ledge/

A clown walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask him a few questions.

Officer: What’s 2+2?

Clown: (counts on his fingers) … 4!

Officer: Good.  What’s the square root of 100?

Clown: (thinking fiercely) … 10!

Officer: Very good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Clown: Ummmm … I don’t know.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The clown goes home and calls up one of his friends, who asks him if he got the job. The clown says, excitedly, “Not only did I get the job, I’€™m already working on a murder case!”

Source: http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/who-killed-abraham-lincoln/

Because the doctor told him to eat 3 square meals a day.

Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.

It heard you were supposed to have three squared meals a day.

Because you’re supposed to eat three squares meals a day.

Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day

Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day..

Because you're supposed to have 3 squared meals a day