I'm going to go drive around shopping for spinning coffee tables tomorrow.

I guess you could say I'm going to be cruisin for a susan.

Edit: I'm an idiot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/takereasygreasy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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I love my local team so much I hang from the ceiling and spin around.

I'm a big fan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bryanBr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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What's black and white and spins around?

A penguin in a washing machine.

My 4 year old came up with that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coverslide
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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When you spin around in an allotment...

... that's a plot twist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sammy_Colon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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If you spin an Oriental guy around and round...

Would he become disoriented?

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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Scientists got bored watching the earth spin around.

So after 24 hours they called it a day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/David_120603
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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Since we're on China jokes. If you spin a China Man around fast enough...

... does he get disoriented?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kasegauner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2016
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If I was the director of admissions at Hogwarts...

I would walk into every room while giving tours with my arms outstretched, head tilted slightly upwards, eyes shining, just admiring the beauty of the space and then spin around slowly and proudly state, "And this? THIS is where the magic happens!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/expertn00b
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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The best way to get dad joked:

I know it's been done before, and many a dad before me and many a dad after me will get to experience this, but in these dark times this was a ray of light that pierced me right to the core with joy.

I came home, and my bright and bubbly ballerina 6 year old runs up and says can I have a hug!?

She asks very tentatively because she knows I have been out all day and the routine is for me to grab a shower (COVID) before I let them get all over me.

So I say, not yet I'm dirty.

She says awww... then she turns to walk away, but then spins back around and looks at me dead in the eye and says:

Hi! um...

wait a sec,

um, I know um,

um, wait.... dir...

[Face beams the biggest smile of accomplishment]

Hi Dirty! I'm [daughter]!

I know we have those proud moments when they turn, but man her delivery, the awkwardness, and the sheer pride she beamed out when she realized she just pulled the reverse dad joke on me...

It's not the getting reverse dad'd, it's the joy and pride she had... she could have just graduated college, and that's how big her beaming smile was right then...

It's a memory I am going to keep and it really lit up this dark time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leyline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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I just found out spiders are dizzy all the time.

All they do is spin around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amenotekijara
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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A blind man walks into a bar with his guide dog.

Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself. The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:

"Just looking around..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alexasha05
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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My 2yr old daughter got me good.

She loves when I spin her around by the arms so I do it quite often because she gets a real kick out of it. After one epic swing I put her down and stumble around the room saying "I'm dizzy, I'm dizzy!" she shouts back at me "you're not dizzy, you're dad!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dat_asthma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2017
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My dad and my tops

So this past month my grandfather taught me how to make spinning wooden tops, and sent me home to come up with designs for them. This week I came up with some cool designs and I decided to show them to my parents tonight.

My dad had this to say:

Dad (looking at the tops): You know you are going to have to take these with you everywhere, right?

Me: why?

Dad: Because no daughter of mine is going to be going around topless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EliseMcg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2014
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Dadjoked my G/F during Furious Seven (Spoiler Alert!)

Right at the end of the first chase scene where Paul Walker is running on top of the bus and Michelle Rodriguez spins her car around for him to grab the rear, I turned and said (quietly):

"They showed that in the trailers, talk about your.....spoilers."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KungFooGrip
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
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The wife with a Star Wars dad joke...

One of the kids brought down a plastic lightsaber toy. My one year old likes to spin around in circles. He did this, holding the lightsaber.

My wife said, "May the centrifugal force be with you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kibasoul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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Italian Dad

I visited my girlfriend in Italy, her dad didn't speak much english and I didn't speak much Italian. He's a really big Italian guy, and everytime we ate, my girlfriend would always have a really healthy meal. He would always get up from the table and say "my daughter is TOP model, top model" while spinning around and doing the most girly little dance.

Also everytime money was brought into conversation (he's considerably frugal) he would start kneeling hypothetically and praising the jew god, claiming he was of jewish descent.

Lol.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KarmaBender
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Got my coworker with this one.

So I'm showing one of my new coworkers how to run a program on the company computer. Once the program is completed, a window pops up and asks if you are finished. So as I'm helping a customer and my coworker asks me "So finish, right?" I spin around and say " No, English, always English. Don't nobody around here know Finnish!" She looked very confused, I don't think she got it...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrackRockCity
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
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I asked my dad what a specific country was on the globe

Me: (Pointing at country on globe) "Dad, what's this?"

Dad: (Grabs the globe, spins it around and breathes on it) "Global warming."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Roylee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2013
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Mean drunk

Guy goes to a bar that he's never been to before, to see what it's about. It's a bit noisy, and he mentions this to the bartender. Bartender tells him there's an upper level, quieter, but with some weird locals.

Guy goes upstairs and finds the place completely empty except for the upstairs bartender and one other man drinking. He sits down beside the other man and orders a beer.

The other man says "You ever been here before?"

"Nope. What's it like?"

"Well, the view is nice up here. But what's really great are the wind patterns."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, see this window right here? If you jump out the window, the wind will spin you around and push you back in. Here, I'll demonstrate."

At this the other man opens the window and jumps out. He spins around in the air and falls back in.

"Now you try it!"

Guy jumps out the window as well, but falls splat on the ground.

Bartender looks at the other man and says "Superman, you're really mean when you're drunk, you know that?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caddan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2015
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