The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
30 Skeleton puns. Can you handle the skull rattling mayhem?

The Duke of Dance: If i don't stop soon, you're really gonna have a bone to pick with me.

The Duke of Dance: I need to stop being such a numbskull.

The Duke of Dance: help.

Sans: I gotta write these down.

The Duke of Dance: I don't have enough backbone to deal with my own shit

The Duke of Dance: but that's tibea expected.

Sans: I find this humerus.

The Duke of Dance: damn

The Duke of Dance: stole my next one.

The Duke of Dance: I'm not fibulaing you when i say, i'm running out of material. I'm really trying to think of more puns here, but i'm patellaing you, i'm out.

Sans: I don't even know this many bone names.

The Duke of Dance: My cranium is empty. i'm running bone-dry here.

The Duke of Dance: But you'r quite sternum in your wanting of these puns.

The Duke of Dance: don't worry, i'll stop temporalily. Not really tho.

The Duke of Dance: I'm taking these puns to the maxilla.

Sans: Can you make a pelvis pun?

The Duke of Dance: Not really. I can't think of any. So no hip hip hooray here.

Sans: That was alright.

The Duke of Dance: Are you having a femury time?

The Duke of Dance: I find myself sacruming to the need to make puns.

The Duke of Dance: helpican'tstop

Sans: I'm having a pun time.

The Duke of Dance: I'm gonna turbinate my puns, cuz i'm on my last leg-bones here.

The Duke of Dance: i'm getting desperate, you can tell.

The Duke of Dance: I didn't name a specific bone.

The Duke of Dance: Which is almost completely mandableitory.

The Duke of Dance: I have made more puns tonight than i have in a LONG time.

The Duke of Dance: Throw me a bone here, have i made enough skeleton puns?

Sans: There will never be enough skeleton puns. Mind makin' a list for me?

The Duke of Dance: Do

The Duke of Dance: Do you want me to write everything i just said down for you?

The Duke of Dance: I'm quivering at the thought of coming up with more skeleton puns.

Sans: I don't see any arrows.

Sans: Don't be a lazy bones, come up with more.

The Duke of Dance: I'll see you later, my vertebrah.

Sans: Have you any backbone?

The Duke of Dance: I already made that one.

The Duke of Dance: :3

Sans: SCREW IT, I'M MAKING ANOTHER

The Duke of Dance: Not so easy coming up with fresh material, is it?

The Duke of Dance: Also, "quiver" is another name for one of your joints.

The Duke of Dance: I'm just really looking at medical sites for this shit.

Sans: CURSE YOU GOOGLE.

The Duke of Dance: it's tibea expected. <Favorite skeleton pun, using it again

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2015
🚨︎ report
Discussing spinal disorders at breakfast...

Kid: "What's that disease called, the one that makes your spine all curved?"

Mom: "That's Scoliosis. It can also mess up your ribcage and shoulders."

Me: "The people who discovered Scoliosis actually had it themselves. It was a husband and wife team. I think their last name was Dover...

Kids: staring intensifies

Me: "... Ben Dover, and his wife Ilene Dover."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Technohazard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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