Southern Accents Puns

Me: Daddy I’m thirsty!

My dad: Hi thirsty I’m Fridy lets go Saturdy and get a Sundy.

I’m sure it’s not original but it makes me laugh to think of how I was making my dad insane asking for a DRIIINNNKKK and he would always come back with this.

I'm a waitress and this one got dropped on me today when a family of 5 came in. They had previously stated they were in a hurry so brought them the check and said (i should probably mention that I have a very southern accent) 'I know y'all are rushin' so-' the dad cut me off with 'No, we're Americans.' His kids and wife were not amused and I just busted up laughing and high fived him. Anyway, I thought you guys would enjoy it.

Today is southern accent day.

No eye-deer! (Say it in yer best southern accent)

So imagine everything my grandfather saying in a really redneck southern accent.

We're watching tv and one of the lead actors comes on screen. Conversation as follows Aunt: "I think that young man is wearing a girl's shirt" Grandfather: "damn. Is he one of those homosapiens?" Me: "granddaddy. You are a homosapien" Grandfather: "don't talk to me like that!"