My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
I am sick and tired of people calling me lazy, so I'm going to kill myself.
But, the gun is all the way over there.
My 4y olds temp is a bit high this morning so I told her she was as sick as a dog we have to take her to the vet.
She was a bit scared a very confused until we showed up at grandmas house as usual. Happy Veterans Day to my mom and those who served ! and thanks to all of you that are AD | NAD | TRS | TAMP for your service.
My horse was very sick so I had to take him to the vet.
Thankfully, he’s in a stable condition.
Abandoned... so you could almost say the owner was sick of this ship.
My friend who really likes dinosaurs is sick so I got him a Welloceraptor egg.
I am so sick of russian dolls
they are full of themselves
I'm so sick of people saying stealing is wrong.
For their 50th anniversary, my parents went on vacation, but unfortunately, my dad got really ill. When they got back, I asked, "Dad, what made you so sick in Hawaii?" He laughed and said...
Real story: I'm prepped for a wedding and walking with my dad about to meet up with my girlfriend. I know his tendencies so I tell him "dad, please, no jokes." And he replies, "with what you're wearing, I won't need to." I roll my eyes and say, "oh, wow, sick burn dad."
I look over, and he's reaching into his pocket and pulls out a little vial, and shakes it out all over me. He hands me this vial and he's made a shitty label around it, and he wrote on this fricken label, "Directions: Add in salt to injury".
He's a legend among my friends dads.
Friend felt sick after eating too much chicken. So I decide to ruffle her feathers.
I recently became sick, so all of my senses are messed up and food tastes different than it used to
I guess my taste buds are now just taste acquaintances
My friend is sick so I tried to cheer her up. She did not respond.
Did you know that ants are so resilient that they never get sick?
It’s because they’re made of ANTibodies.
If I'm sick I don't go to work so I don't give my illness to co workers.
There's no need for a staff infection.
Apparently if you eat a polar bear's liver you'll get sick from too much vitamin A; someone suggested testing this so I called the butcher and asked them to send some over...
...But unfortunately they said they don't deliver polar bear.
so im sick with acute bronchitis and my dad comes into my room
he says "here you go coughy boy"
and hands me a cup of coffee..
Guy used to be in the army. Real good looking guy too. Blond hair, tall, blue eyes. But now tends to sick animals, helping to diagnose and treat them so they can get better.
I was sick and being SO was taking care of me. Groans ensued.
"How do you feel?"
"With my hands, mostly"
My son was sick so I fed him lots of rutabaga
I call it alturniptive medicine.
"I'm so sick of my job at the hospital!"
"Well you know you gotta have a lot of patients for that..."
So I was sick the other day...
and I ended up puking my guts out. Afterwards, all I wanted to do was lay down and take a nap. The only thing I could think of was 'wow, that really took a lot out of me'.
So my father in law has been sick.
My father in law has been sick with the flu for about a week now. I text him, "How ya feeling?" His reply: "With my fingers."
Hilarity ensued.
My teacher likes to start every day by reading a joke from Reddit. She was sick the other day, so
My horse was very sick so I had to take him to the vet.
Thankfully, he’s in a stable condition.
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