I was by my friends side when he died on a trail in the woods. With his last ounce of strength he reached out and put the necklace he wore everywhere in my hands. The look on his face was desperate and serious, he really wanted me to have it...
And that's why I wear this epipen around my neck.
A guy told me there was a shark attack today, said the shark took out his whole left side.
Couldn’t believe it when he told me he was all right.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Captain. If you all look out the left side of the aircraft...
My wife said I should bring out my feminine side more...
I was out of town when my wife gave birth to our first child. In my absence my sister took it upon herself to sit with my wife and be there for her throughout the whole process. My sister never left my wife's side, it was almost like she was sitting a vigil...
right up until the moment she became a vigil-auntie.
I guess people think I'm deaf, because I was reading the lyrics to Walk on the Wild Side out loud and some asked, "You read??" I said...
I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.
I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.
Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?
He wood've turned out great too, had he not turned to the other side
I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.
Scientists have finally figured out why, when geese flying in 'V' formation, one side is longer than the other.
That side has more geese in it.
Today I found out that the Swedish navy has giant bar codes on the side of their ships,
so when they return they have to Scandinavian.
A fishing boat recently capsized when the fish on one side of the net all swam down. Insurance refused to pay out.
They argued it was an act of cod.
As we were pulling out of our driveway and I was adjusting the mirrors, I said to my wife, "It's important to remember, there's side view, rear view and you know what else?"
I took a photo of my friend Lee, printed it out at x2 scale and stuck it on the side of the building,
Largely for comedic purposes.
Three elephants are pushed out of a moving plane. Two land on either side of the river. One lands in the river. What sound do they make?
Ive been trying to work out if the grass really is greener on the other side.
But so far I'm still on the fence.
What kind of fruit does a teen age girl whose father sits out side her bedroom door with a loaded shotgun eat?
my father got me the other day when the wether was rather muggy out side.
my dad: it is so muggy out that the air beat me up took all my money and left me for dead.
A guy told me he was attacked by a shark today.. took out his whole left side..
Couldn’t believe it when he told me he was all right.
My dad figured out why migrating geese always have one side longer than the other in their 'V'.
There's more geese on that side.
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