20 Hilarious Side Out Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I was by my friends side when he died on a trail in the woods. With his last ounce of strength he reached out and put the necklace he wore everywhere in my hands. The look on his face was desperate and serious, he really wanted me to have it...

And that's why I wear this epipen around my neck.

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👤︎ u/YourOverLordisME

📅︎ Sep 21 2022

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A guy told me there was a shark attack today, said the shark took out his whole left side.

Couldn’t believe it when he told me he was all right.

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👤︎ u/smoothbrainape1234

📅︎ Aug 20 2022

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Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Captain. If you all look out the left side of the aircraft...

...it will tip over!

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👤︎ u/MyHotTubTimeMachine

📅︎ Jul 27 2022

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My wife said I should bring out my feminine side more...

So I crashed the car..

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👤︎ u/Saeure

📅︎ Feb 01 2022

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I guess people think I'm deaf, because I was reading the lyrics to Walk on the Wild Side out loud and some asked, "You read??" I said...

No, Lou Reed.

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👤︎ u/Pollo7

📅︎ Jul 22 2021

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I ran out of gas on the side of the road. Along comes a swarm of bees.

I was confused, but they seemed friendly. I told them what was going on, and they said: open the gas cap. One by one, each bee flew into the tank, and to my astonishment the gas gage went from empty to full. The bees said: start the car. So, I did and it ran. I asked them: what did you put in the tank? Bee pee.

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👤︎ u/cerebolic-parabellum

📅︎ Dec 13 2020

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Geese fly in a V-formation for aerodynamics, and when the lead goose gets tired he switches out his position. But one side of the V is almost always longer than the other. Do you know why?

More geese on that side.

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👤︎ u/gamerspoon

📅︎ Apr 12 2020

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He wood've turned out great too, had he not turned to the other side

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👤︎ u/i_like_miniwheats

📅︎ Apr 03 2020

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I found a sack on the side of the road. I reached inside to see if I could figure out who it belonged to. I think it belonged to Santa.

I felt his presents.

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👤︎ u/Rlchv70

📅︎ Jun 12 2020

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Scientists have finally figured out why, when geese flying in 'V' formation, one side is longer than the other.

That side has more geese in it.

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👤︎ u/writechriswrite

📅︎ Jan 11 2018

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Today I found out that the Swedish navy has giant bar codes on the side of their ships,

so when they return they have to Scandinavian.

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👤︎ u/Le_Monss

📅︎ Nov 09 2019

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A fishing boat recently capsized when the fish on one side of the net all swam down. Insurance refused to pay out.

They argued it was an act of cod.

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👤︎ u/LegsAJimbo

📅︎ May 17 2019

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As we were pulling out of our driveway and I was adjusting the mirrors, I said to my wife, "It's important to remember, there's side view, rear view and you know what else?"

"I loview!"

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Jun 12 2018

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I took a photo of my friend Lee, printed it out at x2 scale and stuck it on the side of the building,

Largely for comedic purposes.

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👤︎ u/Onegodoneloveoneway

📅︎ Apr 24 2017

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Three elephants are pushed out of a moving plane. Two land on either side of the river. One lands in the river. What sound do they make?

Ba dum TSSS

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👤︎ u/Chiapanacas

📅︎ Nov 22 2013

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Ive been trying to work out if the grass really is greener on the other side.

But so far I'm still on the fence.

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👤︎ u/RandomDrunk88

📅︎ Sep 12 2017

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What kind of fruit does a teen age girl whose father sits out side her bedroom door with a loaded shotgun eat?

cantaloupe

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👤︎ u/crsbeatz

📅︎ Jun 07 2017

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my father got me the other day when the wether was rather muggy out side.

my dad: it is so muggy out that the air beat me up took all my money and left me for dead.

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👤︎ u/Karllanddown

📅︎ Jun 17 2015

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A guy told me he was attacked by a shark today.. took out his whole left side..

Couldn’t believe it when he told me he was all right.

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👤︎ u/FighterUN

📅︎ Aug 11 2022

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My dad figured out why migrating geese always have one side longer than the other in their 'V'.

There's more geese on that side.

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👤︎ u/faymao

📅︎ Sep 22 2013

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