I know he means well.
Because it was extra sharp.
My girlfriend and I opened a new pack of pre-sliced cheese. As we’re munching, I hold my mouth in pain and say “Ow!” She asked what was wrong and I said, “Well no wonder my mouth hurts, the package says this is extra sharp cheddar.” She was not amused
A cheesy pick up line.
And when I handed it to her I said, “Be careful, this cheese is extra sharp.”
My mom and I were in our living room watching TV. My dad was in the kitchen by himself. Suddenly we hear a yell from the kitchen and go running in to see my dad with a bloody paper towel around his finger...
Me: What happened!?
Dad: I cut my finger!
Mom: How!?
Dad: I wanted some cheese and crackers so I reached into the cheese drawer and I cut my hand.
Me: How did the cheese drawer cut your hand?
Dad: It didn't. I sliced it on the block of extra sharp cheddar!
Dad bursts out laughing
He then removed the paper towel to reveal his unharmed finger. He had dyed the paper towel with food coloring.
Not the usual format, but whenever me and my wife go to the grocery store and buy cheese, I always tell out super loud. "HONEY BE CAREFUL! THAT CHEESE IS EXTRA SHARP!" Always catches her off guard, always gets a decent groan. 😁
So you like cheesy puns, eh? Well you've Comte the right place. I can Feta bunch of Gouda puns into one Muenster-sized sentence. None of the other tools in the Cheddar quite as sharp as I am, at least when it comes to cheese puns. Whoever will lend an o-Paneer will be in Whey over their heads. So look out Baylough, I'm dropping a Bandal of comedy gold that will make your Bra and Pantysgawn.
We were at the grocery store in the cheese section. I grabbed a block of cheddar and handed it to him and said "here hold this, but be careful, its sharp"! He put his head down and said "I'm done".
"You'd better not cut yourself! That omelette has sharp cheese on it!"
-sigh-
Love you, dad.
When taking cheese out of the fridge:
Me: "Ouch!"
Brother: "What happened?"
Me: "Nothing, this cheddar is just really sharp."
After waiting for the groan, I threw in "that was pretty much the opposite of cutting the cheese."
My dad got sharp white cheddar cheese as a gift.
Dad - Hey Vinnythepooh come try these cheese and crackers.
Me - (stick cheese in my mouth and start chewing) Ouch, oh shoot that hurt.
Dad - What happened?!
Me - That cheese cut me it was so sharp!
Dad - You jackass thats my line!
Me - (proceed laughing hysterically)
I just recently became a dad so I've been practicing my dad jokes.
Dad: Why is cheese is so great? Child: Why? Dad: Because son/daughter, it's the greater than most things! Child: Honesty Dad: Sorry, was that too sharp of a joke for you? Child: Dad Dad: Oh my bad, was it too mild for you? Child:Walks out of the room Dad: I think I milked it a little more than I should have.
Last night was taco night with my parents. This starts with my dad grabbing shredded cheese for his taco.
Dad: Ow! Son, get the first aid kit! Me: Why? What happened? Dad: I cut myself... On this EXTRA SHARP cheddar! Me: Please stop. Dad: Do you not want to... Taco bout it?
I was making broccoli casserole with my friend. I happened to be using sharp cheddar cheese cubes for the recipe. I picked up one and ate it.
I winced in pain holding my mouth.
My friend looked up, concerned.
I shook my head and said "It's so sharp."
I had a bag of cheese in my backpack:
Security (training a new guy): Do you have anything sharp in your bag before he reaches in?
Me: nope, it's just some cheese in there.
Security: Don't believe her, she's a liar. This cheese is clearly labeled a SHARP cheddar.
Me: "we need finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese"
Dad: "well it's about time they shredded it!"
Me: -_-
I was at my grandpa's birthday party and my dad brought some sharp cheddar cheese. My grandpa without hesitation said, "This cheese is so sharp, you can use it to cut the rest of it!"
At thanksgiving my grandfather dropped a block of cheese and I said "Careful!... it's sharp!"
Bf: "ouch, I cut myself pretty bad."
Me: "oh no! Are you ok?!"
Bf: "careful, that cheese is extra sharp!"
Me: "...........(groan)...wait, did you not actually cut yourself?"
Bf: "nope."
Bf laughs hysterically.
Eating some cheddar on crackers over the weekend.
"This cheese is very good! I normally don't buy cheddar, especially the sharp kind." - Mother in law
"Me neither, it always cuts my hands." - Me
"Why would it cut your..." she starts then makes the connection. Got groans and eye rolls from both fiance and mother-in-law.
