My son kept losing spitball wars at school. So i upgraded his straw to a semi-automatic...

By adding a paper clip

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👤︎ u/PaxPaw
📅︎ Apr 19 2018
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One of my dad's funnier ones..

A panda goes into a restaurant and orders some bamboo for dinner. After he is done he asks the waiter for the bill.

As the waiter approaches he pulls out a semi-automatic and starts opening fire.

The scared and confused waiter asks him why is he doing all this.

The Panda just hands him a dictionary with a bookmark pointing to panda.

Panda: Eats shoots and leaves

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👤︎ u/Secrethat
📅︎ Aug 21 2013
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