Self Centeredness Puns

Or am I evil?

Little kids are sort of the ultimate egotists and I remember being one of them and literally not caring at all about the other people around me.

It took so much effort and growing up to develop my compassion and concern for others. And when I’m around kids it feels like getting mentally thrust right back into that original place. Does that make sense?

I know that they can’t help it but I find it really draining to be around little kids for this reason, and I start to resent them.

How do stoics demarcate between self centeredness and selflessness, and where do they draw line between self centeredness and selfishness?

My parents have gotten divorced. Recently I’ve been confused and blaming them both constantly about it. (Not to them) When I stay with one parent they talk badly about the other; I feel ive taken that on. When I come back home they comment that I’m more rude to them; I don’t want this to affect my relationships or emotions, and would rather it be back to normal and settled, my feelings neutral.

I understand both sides but I feel I’ve forgotten this and have become more self centered out of confusion and anger, which is unlike me.

How do I become less selfish in this situation, or, what would Buddhism teach me to do?

This isn't directly related to being INTJ, but I'm posting it here because you guys are pretty logical, and I don't know where else to put it.

I'm 30, and had spent the majority of my adult life in the military. While I certainly had personal goals and desires, my career was one of sacrificing self for a greater purpose. While I was in, I saved a bunch of cash and got out.

In the past few years, I left and went on to the corporate world. By pretty much any standard, my life is better now. I have a lot of money. I can buy expensive things, travel, eat out whenever I want, etc. But I feel an emptiness, and even disgust, at the amount of pleasure in my life. It feels like a life of eating cake every day, and I want a bit of struggle.

This seems counter to what we think we want, as logically, we'd want to optimize pleasure and minimize pain. In reality, it feels a bit gross. Similarly, I look at people who aspire to an Instagram-model esque life of beaches and private jets and it seems sick and misguided. The more I think about it, the more I think that I want a life not of personal pleasure, but a life of measured sacrifice toward some greater goal, even if that goal doesn't directly benefit me.

I've never seen this sort of lifestyle promoted or pushed before, but it seems like this is what my soul wants. I'd like to know if others feel the same.

Lately I've felt that my faith is selfish. I'm looking after my own spiritual needs to unite myself to God. Even the Jesus Prayer is all about me. Reading the prayers of the church seem to be focused on my salvation and repentance. It seems all too easy to sit out the world and shut myself in. Thoughts? Different perspectives?

• The Trees of Valinor were meant to light the whole world—and in practice, only lit the blessed lands of the Valar. It could be said that the Valar believed that Valinor was the whole world, and that no one would leave it, therefore. Had the trees not been destroyed, the sun and the moon would not have been fashioned, and all of Middle-Earth would be lit by starlight and torches for ever.

• Isildur choosing not to destroy the ring, but to claim it for himself as a werekind and use it to his own ends. Also the belief of some Men that the ring could be wielded against Sauron.

• Similarly, Saruman’s (and Denethor’s, though he was more desperate) use of the Palantir, which warped his perception of the world while reassuring him it was wisdom.

• Thorin’s ultimately selfish endeavor to reclaim his birthright, the kingdom under the mountain, directly causes a fiery slaughter at Smaug’s hand, the death of his kin and himself, and a war between five factions.

• Dwarves of Moria, who delved too greedily and too deep into the Misty Mountains in their lust for gold and mithril, discovering the Balrog.

• The whole intrigue about the Silmarils; really, Feanor’s whole shtick. And relatedly the intrigue about Galadriel’s hair.

ETA; Morgoth’s whole shtick towards Ilúvatar and creation would probably qualify, demonstrating the pervasiveness of the idea.

Hubris is a theme that comes up a lot in the legendarium—what other examples are there?

“God has blessed me with so many things in life!” What about all the hundreds of millions of people who are starving to death or dying from easily curable diseases?

God is apparently too busy “blessing” already wealthy North Americans and Europeans, while simultaneously not giving a rat‘s arse about millions of people starving, being sold into slavery, or being harvested for their organs.

Nothing makes my blood boil quite like listening to a wealthy Christian harp on about how much God is blessing their life. It’s really great to know where his priorities lie! I guess your new house or love life is more important to God than a child being sold into sex slavery or chopped up for spare parts.

If this God is who christians claim he is, then quite frankly he’s an asshole. And to top it off, they get their panda paradise complete with fruit platters, while those same people who God ignored are killed at Armageddon for not accepting a faith they most likely haven’t even heard of.

I’m a very loyal person, so much so it took years of “waking up” to leave. But a God who would do this is not worthy of any loyalty from me. Even if it were real, I would rather die standing up for what is right, instead of serving a God who fills the Governing Body’s bellies full of “spirits”, but would happily kill a child at Armageddon for not serving him.

Just a small seemingly incident but it's important in highlighting how different our values and culture are.

I live with three Western roommates. I absent-mindedly left some food on the counter overnight. Not one of them bothered to let me know or just close the damned lid! It's not that I expect people to clean up after me but I'm human and fuck up sometimes. Contrast that to my desi values: I called up my neighbor know that he should move his car when he would have gotten a ticket if he didn't. He was not only thankful but also shocked at such a decent thing. In India, if my car broke down in the middle of a road, someone sooner or later would have stopped by and helped me out (maybe even going out of their way). Here they would have driven past you and maybe even splashed on a puddle to make me soaking wet. They worship money here and not human connection.

I can also say that Middle-Easterners, South Americans and Africans (not African-Americans!) are not like this unless they've lived in the West for a long time! Anyone else feel that they'd never fit in with these mindless, soul-less, overly polite, passive-aggressive and non-confrontational robots?

If you can relate to this, I'd love to hear people chiming in with stories of their own on this subject. Even if you don't relate to this, and think that I'm way off and am imagining all this I'd like to hear that as well. Disagreement is welcome - I just need a conversation.

May 12th, 2021. Episode 437, timestamp 1:10.

Did Joe do any risk assessment?

Ayn Rand's Objectivism still haunts our modern discourse. The sublime individuality of Libertarianism and Objectivism seek to elevate man as a transcendant, immaterial being. They claim to have rationale as their framework, but it serves something far less, if at all.

People who have struggled with being self-centered; have you found that you are less self centered when microdosing (especially psilocybin)? Do you find that it lasts once you stop?

I know it is different for everyone, and there are lots of different factors, but I was just wondering for a general sense of people's experiences.

Thanks!

"True-Self" Centered

https://preview.redd.it/6nhhpkwr95u61.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ce829ef5dcb81e51227dd73155ec0d4e9bd7e70

Feeling both proud of myself and irrationally scared of making him mad. It’s been almost 5 months since I last communicated with him. Thanks for this group. It helps. Navigating relationships with narcissist parents is not easy. Love and strength to you all.